Transcripts

Found in the description for the episode, you’ll be able to find a list of trigger warnings for the episode, as well as a link to the transcript for the episode for those who need or want those things!

I’d also like to give a huge “Thank you!” to everyone who has put in time and energy to this project to help make it a reality.

And with that, thank you for listening, and enjoy the first episode of The Hades Project.

[Intro - Event Horizon [jupiter] by Gray Sienna]

Tanner

[Makes a noise like they’re about to start talking, but is abruptly cut off by loud alarms blaring over the intercoms.]

Computer System

Code Red. I repeat, Code Red. The knife roomba has escaped containment. If you see the knife roomba, do not approach. Under no circumstances should you approach the knife roomba. Notify one of the engineers and let them know where you saw it last. Stay vigilant.

[Tanner sighs.]

Tanner

As I was trying to say before I was interrupted, this is the audio log of Dr. Ashes Tanner, head of the medical and science officers aboard the USS Hades.

[Sound of a door opening and someone rushing in.]

Lucien

[Panting.]

Knife roomba. Roomba. Roomba with a knife. In the hallway. Knife roomba in the hallway.

Tanner

[Deep soothing breath, followed by footsteps and the buzz of an intercom.]

The… knife roomba was spotted in the hallway outside of the lab, please come deal with it.

[Another buzz as Tanner releases the intercom button. More footsteps.]

Thank you, Dr. Franklin, now... as I was saying--

[Loud metallic clang, followed by Tanner swearing and Lucien yelling.]

Amaya

[Very distantly shouting, sounds like it's coming from down the hall. Running noises, panting.]

Sorry, sorry, I'm coming!

Tanner

What the fuck is going on out there?

Amaya

Uhhhhh. Knife roomba?

Tanner

Yes. I gathered that much.

What are you planning to do about it? I have work I need to do.

Amaya

Ummmm, what I am… gonna do about it, is, um, go and get the arms?

Tanner

[Deep breath.]

What, exactly, do you mean by arms, Officer Suzuki?

Amaya

Um, they’re-- um.

[Brief stammering before mumbling the answer.]

...wooden poles we duct taped oven mitts to, for when we need to stop the roomba.

Tanner

[Exhausted.]

Just, please, get out.

Amaya

Right! Yep, you got it, doc!

[Noises of Amaya leaving.]

[Beat.]

Lucien

…I… wanna see how this plays out.

[Noises of Lucien leaving.]

Tanner

[Sighs.]

As I was saying…

[Pause as Tanner waits to see if there'll be another interruption, after a moment they continue.]

This is the audio log of Dr. Ashes Tanner, head of the medical and scientific division aboard the USS Hades.

Today is day…

[Pause.]

...17 aboard our new metal home!

Things have been going… alright.

[They do not sound convincing.]

Research has been going well… Well, as well as it can when I'm forced to share the lab with other science officers who apparently never learned basic lab etiquette and keep changing the incubator temperatures.

[Pause. Tanner lowers their voice slightly as they continue talking.]

As for… my other experiments… They all seem pretty healthy so far. Minor to nonexistent reactions to the doses I've given them. Although for my main subject, it's hard to tell if the side effects she does experience are from my experiments or her complete and utter disregard for her own wellbeing.

I'm supposed to up her doses specifically tomorrow. I don't like moving this fast, but she's young enough and fairly healthy… It should be fine…

[Tanner trails off, sounding unsure of themself. There's a pause as they recollect their thoughts before returning to their normal volume and sounding extremely annoyed.]

But it's not like it'll matter anyways, if the other science officers keep changing the fucking incubator temperatures.

[Music Interlude.]

Aiden

Right. Three engineers, two communications officers, one HR manager, a co-captain, and six doctors, and I barely see any of them. You’d think these folks would be more inclined to socialize, given that we’re only going to be seeing each other for the next, let’s see…

[Pause.]

2 years, 11 months, and 13 days.

[Deep sigh.]

[Alarms start blaring, same as before.]

Computer System

Aiden

[Sounding entirely too cheery for what’s just been announced.]

Surely this ain’t what it sounds like.

[Footsteps, followed by a buzz of the intercom system.]

Hello, Engineering?

Nim

[Over the intercom. Stammering and sounding very nervous.]

Um, hi? Hello, Commander Bailey?

Aiden

Hello, Nim, darlin’. I just heard the strangest announcement come over the system. Now, I’m sure it’s nothing, but I heard something about knives and roombas?

[A pause.]

Nim. Situation. Now.

Nim

[Rushing through the words.]

Okay, so I told her not to, but Vela may or may not have made a roomba capable of withstanding gravity and zero gravity conditions.

[Beat.]

And then added knives to it.

[Beat.]

And then it got out…?

Aiden

[Deep sigh.]

Where?

Nim

Main lab.

[The intercom buzzes, footsteps are heard as Aiden walks to the door and it opens.]

Aiden

I swear to God, if one of these idiots gets near that thing, I will--

[Aiden is cut off by the door closing.]

[Fade out.]

Amaya

[Faintly heard shouting over loud metallic noises.]

Rory, no, get away from that!

[Beat.]

Lucien—

[Beat. The metallic noises stop.]

Amaya

…Did you just…?

[Beat.]

Rory

Um. Yep. It appears I did, Amaya.

[Beat.]

Amaya

Huh.

Lucien

...Okay, but that was kinda sick. Up top!

[Sound of a high five, possibly concerningly wet depending on how closely you listen to it. Rory curses in pain.]

Lucien

Oh, fuck, right, sorry! Sorry!

[Noises of Tanner sighing and placing their head in their hands. You hear the door opening.]

Rory

...Sooooo, the good news is the knife roomba was taken care of…

Tanner

[Another sigh. Voice muffled from their head still being in their hands.]

And the bad news?

Rory

…I may have accidentally caught a knife by grabbing the sharp bit?

[Beat. Tanner takes a deep, shaky, breath.]

Tanner

Just… go to the medbay. I'll be right there.

[This is the voice of a broken person.]

Rory

Okay.

[Sounds of Rory leaving.]

Tanner

[Back to their recording.]

And you just met my main subject. I have a feeling these next three years are going to be… much longer than I bargained for.

End log.

[Sound of clicking, as the recording is finished and saved. Sigh, you hear Tanner get up from their chair, and start walking.]

I really hope Rory had the decency to at least make it a clean cut.

[Sound of the door closing. Music Interlude.]

[Sounds of walking as Aiden moves with a purpose through the winding hallways of the Hades. There is an ominous vent sound.]

Aiden

[Muttering.]

I swear if some kind of vermin snuck into the vents before lift off, I will be requesting a pay upgrade.

Cassian

[Calling out from the communications room.]

Oh, hey, Commander! Can I steal you for a second?

Aiden

[Sounding stressed. She's busy.]

Well, I’m a little busy right now, Officer Reyes. Didn’t you hear the announcement from engineering?

Cassian

[A little shy.]

Uh… No? We’re kind of dealing with something else in here.

[Beat. Quieter.]

...Also, I turned off engineering’s announcements two weeks ago.

Aiden

I do not blame you. So, what's the situation here?

Madison

Another weird ass message from mission control. And now that you’re here, it’s your problem!

Aiden

[Sighs deeply, maybe even bordering on a groan. Sarcastically.]

Thank you for the help, Captain Green.

[Back to normal tone.]

What do we have now, Cass?

[Typing and various computer noises.]

Cassian

Yeah, it’s another one of the deeply encrypted ones.

Aiden

[Beat. Confused.]

Then decrypt it?

Cassian

Oh, no, I already did that. That’s not the weird part.

Madison

Ultrapoltis finds it important that all of their messages not be easily intercepted or decoded. I assume, again, for the sake of privacy.

Aiden

Right, thank you, Captain Green... I’m well aware of the protocol.

Madison

[Clarifying.]

What’s strange, Commander Bailey, is the message itself. Every once in a while we get messages in different languages. I assume again for the sake of privacy? But this is something I’ve never seen. I mean it seems to be a warning of some kind, given the red lettering and bold letters, but I have no idea what it means.

Cassian

Yes, and it also came in with the signal for an emergency, Captain.

[Music begins.]

Madison

Ah.. Well, yes. That too.

Aiden

[Worried.]

What kind of emergency signal, Cass?

Cassian

Um… Code Violet?

[Pauses.]

...That’s the highest level. On par with… what was it? Certain death approaching!

[He is immediately cut off with the system blaring alarms.]

Computer System

Please enter security code provided in transmission. Failure to comply will lead to full system shutdown.

10...

[Pause.]

Aiden

Translate.

Computer System

9...

Aiden

Fast.

Computer System

8…

[Fade out.]

Tanner

[Tanner sighs. It was not a clean cut.]

Dr. Sinclair, could you grab some antiseptic for me, please?

Maia

Sure.

[Joking.]

I sure am glad that I requested extra medical supplies. At this rate, Rory and Lucien will use them all by day 20.

Rory

A ‘’Thank you for taking care of the knife roomba, Rory!’’ would suffice actually.

[Wincing.]

Tanner

[Sarcastically.]

Oh, sorry. Forgot to warn you that would sting.

Maia

Maybe don’t grab something called a knife roomba next time, Rory? I know that reckless science is kind of your thing, but clearly the track record is not off to a good start.

Rory

No promises.

Mal

Okay, but was it cool? Also I think I’m gonna name the lab skeleton, “knife roomba’’ tomorrow, you know, in honor of your bravery.

Rory

Thank you, Mal, I’m truly a hero. And yeah, it was sexy as hell. Might have to ask Amaya for one that we can keep in the lab.

[Tanner makes a warning noise. They are slightly too rough with their stitch. Rory makes a small noise of pain.]

...Or maybe in the shame lab.

Tanner

As long as I don’t see one in my lab, I don’t care. For all I know it would destroy my incubator.

Mal

I don’t know, it’s kind of a marvel of physics, if you think about it. That thing could move through areas of gravity and zero gravity. Engineering really outdid themselves this time. I don’t know how they’ll manage to beat this.

Maia

[A small groan.]

Please don’t encourage them, Mal. I didn’t order that many extra supplies.

Tanner

[Softer than previous. A little gentle even.]

Alright, you’re all done, Dr. Black. Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to return to.

Rory

[Also kinda gentle.]

Right, thank you so--

[Pause. The door has opened and closed.]

...much. And they’re gone. It’s like they don’t want anything to do with me. And I know that they’re like that with everyone, but I can’t help but feel like it’s somehow, I don’t know, different with me?

Maia

[Reassuringly.]

I’m sure it’s nothing, Rory. Here, let’s all go get some ice cream from the kitchen.

[Music Interlude, followed by the computer system still counting down, and typing.]

Computer System

4…

[Pause.]

3…

[Pause.]

2…

[Pause.]

Security code accepted.

Aiden

“This is a test of the emergency system.’’

[Pause.]

Oh, I will be having some words with mission control later.

Good work.

[Cassian thanks her.]

And Cassian?

Cassian

Yeah?

Aiden

Please, turn the Engineering alerts back on. As much as they can be a pain, it’s important information. Now, to find out about that--

[She is interrupted by the overhead alarm blaring yet again.]

Computer System

Code Red. I repeat, Code Red. The knife roomba has escaped containment… Again.

[Outro by Gray Sienna]

Tanner

Personal log of Dr. Ashes Tanner.

[Soft, like they don’t want to be heard.]

Commander Bailey told me about a weird message from mission control today. It seems strange that our own company would use scare tactics as an emergency drill, but as far as we can tell, that’s all it was. A drill. We’re still on course to arrive at Pluto. She also mentioned that there was an unusual noise coming from the vents. If I had to wager a guess, it’s likely a prank from engineering or the fault of one of the other scientists. Regardless, I told her that it’s probably nothing. As for my own project, I’m... worried. I’m not as well versed in research as I am as a medical professional and well… it seems like things are moving very quickly. My supervisors want me to increase the dosage on Dr. Black, but I’m worried about the effects that could have on her. Listen, experimenting on my crewmates wasn’t exactly what I was expecting when I agreed to this mission, but it’s certainly not the worst thing they could have me be doing. I don’t know… I think I’m going to adjust the doses. Enough to get a reaction that I can report back, but overall dial it back. The last thing I want to do is hurt her. Especially when she looks so much like… [Trails off, then clears their throat.]

Well, regardless, I have work to do, so this is Dr. Tanner, signing off.

End log.

[Promotions.]

If you liked The Hades Project, we recommend also listening to Aurora Everlasting, a cosmic horror podcast. Check out their trailer now.

[Trailer begins.]

[Heavy breathing.]

Anna Kästner

Just…

[Sigh.]

What is there to look at outside? Except for everything we see all the time?

Anna Kästner

I’ll go in.

Evelyn Coil

No way!

Margit Nilsén

So, this is my dead man’s log.

Evelyn Coil

What the--

Disembodied Voice

Malfunc--

Evelyn Coil

Hello?!

[Scream.]

Overlapping Voices

Don't look.

Voiceover

Aurora Everlasting. Find us on the podcasting app of your choice.

[Credits.]

This is The Hades Project. It is inspired by Wolf 359. Intro and outro music was produced by Gray Sienna. Thank you to our lab skeleton, Bona Lisa, and thank you for listening.

Episode 2: Vents

Trigger Warnings

Swearing

Sudden crashing noise (1:47)

Loud noise (6:54)

Loud noise (7:02)

Sudden loud noise (8:12)

[Intro theme plays - Event Horizon [jupiter] by Gray Sienna.]

Vela

[Sounds of a door opening, slow walking. Light metallic noises. Vela sighs.]

Log of Vela Klein, day 24? Sounds about right.

[General sounds of gas release and other space-y noises.]

Anyway, day 24. No big space disasters so far- if you don’t count knife roombas- but the crew has been complaining about hearing some weird noises in the vents.

[Cue aptly timed clang.]

Like that. It’s probably nothing, but the Commander asked me to take a look anyway to make sure nothing’s too wrong.

[A loud bang is heard in the distance, very clearly not from the vents.]

Tanner

[Muffled, from far away.]

Oh, for fuck’s sake!

Amaya

What was that?

Vela

Something that’s probably going to cause more work for us later, knowing everyone else.

Amaya

So what do you think the noises are? A breach in the hull maybe?

[More banging via vent, followed by a noise of pain.]

Vela

Wha-

[Pause.]

It’s probably nothing. Metal expanding or whatever.

Amaya

So we’re just going to ignore the voice? I swear I heard something.

Vela

It was probably just one of the others’ voices traveling through the vents.

Amaya

If you sa-

[Amaya is interrupted by the crash of a piece of the vent falling to the ground. She yelps.]

[Musical interlude.]

[Overlapping voices in the background make excuses for the mess in the lab.]

Tanner

Shut up, all of you!

[Pause.]

If you would all be quiet, then we can get this sorted out. Now, what happened?

[Silence.]

Okay, let me get this straight. There’s an explosion in my lab, and I find you three singed and covered in soot, and no one knows what happened?

[Silence.]

Great, because it looks like to me like someone decided it was a good idea to play scientist and then fucked up. Am I right?

Mal

Weeeeeell… you could say that, but-

Lucien

It wasn’t us!

[Beat.]

Tanner

It… wasn’t you?

Rory

Nope!

Tanner

So, you three are the only ones here and… you didn’t cause this mess?

Mal

Definitely not!

Lucien

No… It could have been something else? Could have been clones!

[Under their breath.]

Those exist, right?

Rory

[Under her breath in response.]

Yeah, I think they do.

Mal

[Conspiratorial.]

But do we even have clones?

Tanner

[Stage whisper.]

No, you don’t.

[The door opens. Footsteps.]

Tanner

Ah! Dr. Taylor! Do you happen to know what happened to the main lab?

Stella

Um, Doctors, Black, Franklin, and Paulitious were working in the lab? And it didn’t go well?

Lucien

See! It wasn’t us!

Tanner

I take it you didn’t see what happened.

Stella

No, I was just leaving to go talk to engineering about the clanging vents. They still haven’t figured out what’s going on, so I thought I’d come back to grab a few supplies.

Tanner

Thank you anyway, Stella. And you three won’t tell me what you did?

Rory

We told you! We didn’t do anything!

Lucien

It was our clones! We ran in before you did to stop them!

Tanner

Then where are these… clones?

Mal

Obviously, they escaped! You know, into the vents!

Tanner

There’s nothing in the fucking vents! Just tell me what you exploded, I’ll send you to the Shame Lab, and we can be done with this stupid conversation!

Rory

Like we said, we don’t know. Clones did it.

[Long Pause.]

Stella

I’m… just going to try to talk to engineering again. Uh… good luck with this.

[Footsteps and the door opening and closing.]

Tanner

[Tanner sighs.]

Fine. This is clearly getting me nowhere, so how about I just go fetch the Commander and she can sort this out?

Luc and Mal

[Spoken at the same time.]

It was their idea!/It was her idea!

[Musical Interlude.]

[More clanking in the vents.]

Vela

Alright, I double checked structural integrity and exterior readings, and everything seems clear.

Nim

Heating and cooling systems are all normal.

Amaya

Yeah, I’m not seeing anything out of the ordinary. I’m telling you, I really think something’s in the vents.

Vela

What would that even be?

Nim

Maybe it’s space demons.

Vela

Oh no, not the dreaded space demons. Whatever will we do?

Amaya

[The eye roll is audible.]

Seriously, I just think we should just climb up there and look around.

Vela

Or maybe space ghosts. Oooooooo.

Nim

I don’t know, I think space demons could be pretty sexy. I mean, they’ve got the horns-

Amaya

[Interrupting.]

OK! Getting back to the issue at hand.

Vela

[Teasing.]

Boo, you suck!

Amaya

Uh, anyways, all the systems look good, and it’s not a structural issue, so something’s just gotta be up there.

Vela

You just want to crawl around the vents.

Amaya

You can accomplish two things at once.

Nim

Well, Thea said she last heard it around medbay. We should probably head over there before it moves.

Vela

Alright. Amaya, get a flashlight, Nim, you grab the vacuum cleaner. We’re gonna go catch us a space ghost.

Nim

It’s a demon!

[Musical interlude.]

[Sounds of vents and hollow thumps and crawling throughout. You can hear the occasional grunt from Vela and Amaya as they move.]

Nim

[Over the intercom, a little staticky.]

Okay, do you see the next juncture ahead? Take a right up there.

Vela

Got it.

[Some more grunting and moving.]

Nim

[Over comms.]

Everything looks normal from the hallways. Do you guys see anything?

Amaya

Uh, not yet, but-

[There’s a banging sound, most definitely not Vela and Amaya. The two go still, holding their breath.]

Amaya

Um, what was that?

Vela

It’s nothing, I’m sure it was just-

[The banging again, louder this time. Amaya gives a little yelp.]

Vela

Okay, maybe there is something up here.

Amaya

Is this a bad time to mention that I might believe in ghosts?

Vela

You might?!

Amaya

I don’t know, okay?! I haven’t decided yet, I always said that I don’t have proof either way, but I’m kind of starting to get a little-

Nim

[Interrupting hurriedly over comms.]

Wait, guys, I hear it! It’s moving towards the lab! Keep going straight and then take the next left. Hurry!

[Amaya and Vela groan as the vents continue to make noise.]

[Musical Interlude.]

Aiden

So. Dr. Tanner tells me we’ve had a little situation.

[A beat.]

Do any of y’all want to explain what’s going on here?

[Silence.]

Aiden

Do I need to ask again?

[More silence. And then-]

Mal

[Rushed and nervous, tripping over her words.]

Okay, it really was an accident, we-we didn’t mean to make an explosion. We were just trying something and it got a bit out of hand and-

[A loud crash. Kepler falls through the vent.]

Aiden

What the-

[Kepler stands up, gives a little “eep!”, and runs off out into the hall. Moments later, another crash; Vela and Amaya also fall out of the vents. They groan.]

Amaya

[😳]

Uh, Vela… You’re, um, kind of laying on top of me?

Vela

Oh, sorry.

[Vela and Amaya scramble to get up and dust themselves off, trying - and failing - to not make eye contact with each other.]

Aiden

What in the hell is going on?!

Vela

[A bit out of breath.]

We figured out the vent issue.

Amaya

Who was that? I’ve never seen that guy before.

Aiden

I’m sorry, are you saying you think there’s a stowaway on board?

Nim

[Far away and muffled from out in the hallway, chasing down the mysterious man.]

Hey, wait!

[More running.]

He’s headed towards the comms bridge!

Vela

Oop! Gotta go!

[Vela runs out, footsteps echoing down the hallway. The door closes.]

Tanner

[Deep sigh.]

This crew is going to give me a fucking aneurysm.

[Musical Interlude.]

[Sounds of Nim and Kepler running.]

Nim

Hey, stop!

[Nim catches up and tackles Kepler to the floor. Grunts and crashing and stuff.]

Kepler

[Out of breath.]

Get off of me!

Nim

Dude, why were you running? Who are you?

Kepler

Kepler? Kepler Richmond?

[Long pause.]

I’m a communications officer? Did you not read the manifest?

Nim

…we have a third communications officer?

Kepler

Yeah, duh. I’m on the night shift.

Nim

We don’t have a- y'know what? Never mind. Why were you hiding in the vents?

Kepler

Just ‘cause. I like it up there.

Nim

That cannot be comfortable.

Kepler

Eh, it’s not that bad. I’ve got blankets and stuff.

[Footsteps are heard. Bryn walks by.]

Bryn

Oh, hey, Kepler. Hey, Nim.

Kepler

Hey, Bryn.

Bryn

Why are you guys on the floor?

Nim

You knew about this guy?

Bryn

Yeah, he’s been hanging out in the vents for awhile now. Why? Did no one else know?

[Event Horizon Outro by Gray Sienna.]

Rory

[The click of a recording.]

Personal log of Rory Black.

Things have… been going well, I think?

I don’t know, it’s hard to tell when we haven’t even been up here for a month.

My research is going fine, there’s not really much I can do until we arrive, I’m more just here to be… useful? I guess?

I’m supposed to be Dr. Tanner’s lab assistant until we get there, but… they won’t even look me in the eyes. It’s like they’re avoiding me and I-I don’t know why. I don’t know what I did wrong.

A-and I know they’re like this with everyone, but it feels... different. I don’t know, I'm-I'm probably just overthinking it….

[Pause.]

Anyways, the vaccine experiments seem to be going well. I haven’t noticed any major side effects yet. A few minor pains and I had a mild cough the day after my last dose, but nothing bad. Dr. Tanner says we’ll be upping my dosage tomorrow, so I guess I’ll keep you updated on that.

[Sigh.]

We’ll make it work. I always do.

End log.

[Recorder clicks off.]

[Promotions.]

If you liked The Hades Project, we recommend also listening to Neighbourly, which follows the residents of Little Street house by house. Check out their trailer now.

[Trailer begins.]

Narrator

Psst. Come here. Yes, you. Welcome to Little Street. Under the skin of each house hides a secret that most of its keepers would do anything to bury. How well do any of us really know our neighbors? Curious to discover what dwells behind the doors of Little Street? Subscribe to Neighbourly, distributed wherever good podcasts are found. For more information go to neighbourlypod.carrd.co or follow us on social media @neighbourlypod. That's Neighbourly with a "U" by the way. Thanks for listening! Come visit us soon.

[Music fades.]

This is The Hades Project. It is inspired by Wolf 359. Intro and outro music was produced by Gray Sienna. Thank you to our lab skeleton, Nick Bone-as, and thank you for listening.

Episode 3: There's Nobody

Trigger Warnings

Swearing

Suicidal ideation

Crying/Panic Attacks

Accidental poisoning

Brief mention of medical treatment.

Sudden loud noise (5:38)

Lucien

[Fuzzy audio.]

This is Dr. Lucien speaking. I’m doing my general spacewalk and everything seems to be well. I haven’t noticed anything out of place.

[Coughs.]

I haven’t noticed anything out of place… I, um... I’ll finish my check and everything will be fine after that… I-I...

[Trailing off, then coughs again, louder.]

[Short musical interlude, followed by the telltale noises/typing of the Communications Room.]

Cassian

Bryn, read me the readings please… uh, yes those ones.

[Pause.]

Hold on, I’m, um, seeing something weird. I’ll call you back in just a second.

[Buzz as the intercom turns off.]

Now… what are you?

[More typing noises.]

What? Is that? No-- no that’s not--. Please tell me I’m seeing things… and that something in my scanner is broken because if that is… If that--. That’s not Dr. Franklin. Nope. I'm just seeing things, that’s not Dr. Franklin. Dr. Franklin is not floating. Not floating. In space.

[Long pause.]

Shit.

[Intro - Event Horizon [jupiter] by Gray Sienna]

[The click of a recorder.]

Mal

[Crying.]

Day… No one cares what day it is, it doesn’t matter what day it is. We’ve been here a month. Just.. one month. Somebody already could have died. Dr. Franklin could have died today. They… poisoned themselves two days ago. Didn’t tell anyone. You know, because obviously that’s a thing nobody needs to know about, right? You know, we just, we have medical officers, but it doesn’t matter. Who cares? They’re not here for anything, they can’t help with anything--. It-it’s fine. I’m sure they had their reasons, it's just, they… they took a short space walk outside and passed out. Cassian had to suit up and save them, but they’re gonna be fine. They're fine. But, I just… I don’t know what they were thinking. They should have told us…

[Crying, followed by a music Interlude and the click of the recording.]

[A new recording clicks on.]

Maia

Log of Dr. Maia Sinclair.

[Pause.]

It has been a day. We almost lost a crewmember today, but it’s fine. Dr. Franklin is fine… And as much as I want to help, Dr. Tanner has it covered, so… I can’t do anything. I can’t do anything. Dr. Sinclair, signing off.

[Recording clicks off, followed by another click on.]

Rory

Audio… audio log of… no. Personal log of Rory Black.

[Long pause.]

I’m… Lucien almost died today. The idiot poisoned themself and then went on a space walk. I swear to god, I’m gonna--

[She trails off. There’s long pause.]

I didn’t realize how attached I got. I wasn’t expecting…

[Long pause.]

The last time I was this scared was when I lost… my mom.

Fuck.

[Sound of something crashing to the ground and breaking.]

Fuck. Just-- end log.

[The recorder clicks off.]

[A new recording starts.]

Aiden

Command log. Aiden Bailey, all that jazz. I’ll go back over that with the formalities later. We just had a fun little emergency.

[Pause.]

Well, I guess, at least the first one that I hadn’t known about. Dr. Franklin… When that… sugar, honey, and iced tea, when that fool gets better, I’m gonna--. Hm. Threatening the crew on your official log, are we, Aiden Delilah? It's… it's fine. I just won’t send this one.

[Another recording begins. ]

Cassian

I'm… Sorry, yes, Officer’s log. This is Cassian aboard the…

[Pause.]

...Back aboard the USS Hades. I… uh, sorry, I just arrived back in my quarters. I was supposed to be on duty for another few hours, but Commander Bailey told me to just rest. Um, but if I’m being honest… I would much rather be working right now. It sounds much better than being alone with my thoughts.

[Pause. He buries his face in his hands. Muffled.]

I know that I did all that I could. I went out there and brought them back in as soon as I saw them on my scanner. I… I just felt so helpless, looking at him. They looked so…

[Pause. Clears his throat.]

Anyways, they’re with Dr. Tanner now. I just… I just hope that he's going to be okay.

[Click off. Brief music interlude.]

[Recording clicks on.]

Madison

Captain’s log. At my earliest convenience, I will be killing all of these scientists. Particularly Dr. Franklin. End log.

[Recording finishes. A brief pause, then another recording starts.]

Amaya

Audio log of Officer Amaya Suzuki aboard the USS Hades-- it's day whatever. I just found out along with everyone that apparently, Lucien accidentally poisoned themselves ages ago and nobody found out until they passed out on their space walk.

[Deep breath.]

Luckily, Cass was there to save them and they’re okay for now, but, I just… How could I not have noticed? If I had noticed, then maybe I could have told someone and they would be okay and all of this wouldn’t have happened, but I didn’t because I’m an idiot.

[Pause.]

I should have noticed. It’s just like my dad all over again, you know? Why didn’t I notice?

[Clears her throat.]

Um, end log.

[Yet another click off. Another log begins.]

Madison

In light of my previous Captain’s log, I have been informed by Commander Bailey that I cannot threaten to kill the science officers… or anyone else upon the crew. So, I guess this is my formal redaction of my previous log and as well as a sincere apology to Dr. Franklin, as well as the rest of the crew on the USS Hades. I promise that I will not kill any of you. End log.

[Recording clicks off. A new recording begins shortly after.]

Tanner

Officer’s log. This is Dr. Tanner aboard the Hades and I am going to kill Dr. Franklin…

[Pause.]

After they’re better. Dr. Franklin was on a spacewalk by themselves today and didn’t think to tell me beforehand that he had accidentally poisoned himself two days ago. So they passed out while they were in space and almost died. Thankfully, Officer Reyes was able to go out there and collect our doctor. They’re back safe on the station now and I’m treating him for the poison. They should be fine.

[Pause. Softer.]

Point is… I know I’m not supposed to care about the people up here. I know they’re just part of the job for me. And as much as I hate some of the things that Dr. Franklin does… he's starting to be my friend. I don’t want to see them die.

[Recording finishes. A new log begins.]

Aiden

[Sounding much more official from when we last heard her.]

Official log. This is Commander Aiden Bailey aboard the USS Hades, on route to the planet Pluto for Ultrapoltis’ Hades Project. Earlier today, we had an incident where one of our science officers became unconscious during a space walk, due to a previous sickness. They were safely brought back aboard the ship and successfully treated for their ailment. It seems that all is well and we are on course and on schedule for continuing our journey. End log.

[Recording clicks off. Music Interlude. Then, another log begins.]

Mal

This is Dr. Mal Paulitious reporting. It’s been a little while since Dr. Franklin was hurt and I gotta say, it's been nice. They're recovering and they're leaving little gifts and notes around for people. It’s really sweet. We’ve been talking a lot more too, about our hobbies, our interests, life back on Earth. I even told them where I got my plague doctor mask… And that’s not really a story I like to tell all that often. But, I’m glad the kid’s okay. It would have been terrible to lose them in that way, you know? But it’s fine, they’re making a full recovery and it’s all thanks to Dr. Tanner. And you know? I think I'm starting to have a lot more hope about this mission. Maybe that was just our big bump in the road and everything’s going to turn out okay. I like to think so, at least. Well, this is Dr. Mal, signing off.

[Recording finishes. The final log begins.]

Lucien

[This is an old record log, it sounds fuzzy.]

This is Dr. Lucien Franklin of the USS Hades speaking. This will be short, I barely have the energy to keep myself up. If you haven’t been able to tell from my recent reports, I have… accidentally poisoned myself. I checked my vitals while Dr. Tanner was distracted this morning, but it seems I’m only getting worse. I attempted to solve this myself, but... seeing how I do not have a medical degree, it didn’t seem to work. I can’t go to Dr. Tanner about this, they’d think me an idiot for poisoning myself with my own project, so… if all goes well… nobody will notice, but knowing my luck, this is going to kill me. This may be the last time you hear from me. I would tell you to tell somebody of my death, but there’s nobody. This is Dr. Lucien Franklin, signing off... Perhaps for the last time.

[Log finishes.]

Computer System

Delete audio log?

[Clicking noise.]

Computer System

Log deleted.

Lucien

[Sighs.]

I might have been wrong about there being nobody.

[Sound of the door opening.]

Rory

[Calling out. Excited.]

Hey, you free? I just thought of the best prank to get back at engineering for what they did last week.

[Event Horizon Outro by Gray Sienna]

[A phone ringing. A click as they pick up the phone.]

Dem/Et

[Eerily together. They sound like one person speaking. There are moments where their voices don't quite match up, but this is offset by the crackling of the long distance call.]

Hello, Officer Lowry. Officer Patel. How has everything been going?

Bryn

Everything’s been going as planned. We’re scheduled to arrive at Pluto on time.

Dem/Et

Good. And the subjects?

Thea

The crew is doing well, everyone's gotten settled in. No one suspects anything so far. I've been spared the details of the experiments, but there’s been no major developments, so I assume everything is going well there. No one is suspicious on that end either.

Dem/Et

Wonderful. I know you will make sure it stays that way.

Thea

Of course.

Dem/Et

I’ll be checking in. Notify me if any issues arise.

Bryn

Yes, sir.

[Promotions]

If you like The Hades Project, we recommend also listening to Hope's Hearth, a GM-less actual play podcast where friends explore identity, community, and the ways people find strength and love in dire situations. Check out their trailer now.

[Trailer begins.]

Characters and cast members:

Captain Oleaun - Izze S.

Dirk

Scottie - Izze S.

Suds - Amber

Sophia - Will

Danielle

[Music slowly fades in as narrator speaks.]

Captain Oleaun

Now I don’t claim to be a master storyteller. Quite the opposite honestly. But if you join us around the hearth, you might hear some fantastic tales.

Captain Oleaun

Tales of bravery…

Dirk

There is an enormous wave of magic. And for just a moment. Everything goes still.

Captain Oleaun

Tales of kindness.

Izze S.

And, gives the gardener a piece of toast.

[Dirk giggling]

Scottie

You’ll feel better, eat the toast

Captain Oleaun

Tales of loss...

Suds

No battle should ever be worth the cost.

Captain Oleaun

Tales of lives being lived...

Sophia

You know, Sophia says to Long John Silver, Some people say I’m weird.

Captain Oleaun

And tales of creation...

Danielle

Once upon a time, there was a dog.

[Music fades out.]

Izze S.

Listen to Hope’s Hearth, a GM-less actual play podcast set in a solar hope punk universe where friends and guests explore identity, community, and the ways people find strength and love in dire situations. Catch it every Wednesday wherever you listen to podcasts. We hope to see you around the hearth sometime soon.

[Credits.]

This is The Hades Project. It is inspired by Wolf 359. Intro and outro music was produced by Gray Sienna. Thank you to our lab skeleton, Captain Jack Marrow, and thank you for listening.

Episode 4: Symptoms

Trigger Warnings

Swearing

Coughing/Slight difficulty breathing

Sudden loud noise (2:28)

Hospital mention

Breakdown/slight suicidal ideation

Rory

[Starts to talk, but interrupts herself with a coughing fit.]

Audio log of Dr. Aurora Black. It’s day… something of our journey.

I am… struggling a little bit in regards to being on the same page as Dr. Tanner, but we’re making it work. There’s not much for me to do yet anyways, since I don’t have the appropriate samples. As for the vaccine tri--

[Another coughing fit.]

Sorry, um, as for the vaccine experiments they’ve been… going. The side effects are getting worse. Survivable, but rough. Today I have a checkup with Dr. Tanner, just to see how I’m faring. If I’m doing good enough then we’re gonna go up on the doses again today. This vaccine is really important, so Ultrapoltis is kinda rushing the experiments, but it’s okay, I can take it. Taken a lot worse in the past. I’ll… keep you updated! End lo--

[Another coughing fit, the recorder clicks, ending the recording and cutting Rory’s coughing off.]

[Intro plays - Event Horizon [jupiter] by Gray Sienna]

[A soft metallic banging, it sounds like someone knocking on a metal door.]

Tanner

Come in, it’s open.

[Quiet footsteps.]

Rory

I’m, uh, here for my checkup?

Tanner

Right. Uh, go sit on the exam table, I will be right with you.

Rory

Mhm. Okay.

[Quiet footsteps before a loud clang and the sound of someone hitting the floor. You hear Tanner getting up out of their chair quickly and rapid footsteps as they approach Rory.]

Tanner

Rory? Fuck, Rory, are you alright?

Rory

C-careful there, doc. You-you’re starting to sound like you-

[Brief coughing fit.]

Like you care.

Tanner

What happened?

Rory

Just a little dizzy spell. It’s all good.

Tanner

No. A “dizzy spell” is not all good. How long ago did you start coughing and feeling dizzy?

Rory

[Mumbling.]

...after the last time we upped my doses.

Tanner

That was weeks ago! Why didn’t you say anything sooner?

Rory

...the vaccines are important, I didn’t wanna fuck up your research.

[Tanner sighs.]

Tanner

Rory, the point of these experiments is for you to report side effects back to me so that I can see if they’re going to cause any long term effects and adjust what I need to, but that only works if you tell me when you’re not feeling good. These reports are essential to my research. Just please start reporting these things to me. Now, what symptoms are you experiencing?

[Musical interlude.]

Annie (HR)

What symptoms are you experiencing?

Lucy

I’ve been coughing a lot. Nothing I do seems to make it go away. I keep getting sick and it just makes the cough worse. I’ve also been very tired, I barely have the energy for anything anymore.

Tanner

[Sounding not as tired as we’ve heard them before, younger, but voice tense with worry.]

I think it’s some kind of auto-immune disease. She’s been getting sick easier and more often. We don’t have access to any historical records for her family and Lucy can’t remember any history of autoimmune disorders, at least in her close family.

[Brief typing noises.]

Annie (HR)

Alright, well, we’ll take some samples and run some tests and see if we can find anything. It’s likely nothing serious, but it never hurts to make sure.

Lucy

Thank you, Dr. Blackwell.

[Musical interlude.]

[Birds chirping and a soft breeze in the background, they’re clearly outside.]

Lucy

Oh, I missed this.

Tanner

Yeah? Good picnic?

Lucy

Mm, quite. Every time you bake something you somehow manage to top yourself.

[A light giggle that slowly dissolves into a coughing fit. Eventually it dies down and it’s subtle, but you can tell Lucy is struggling to catch her breath.]

Tanner

Are you okay?

Lucy

It’s okay, Ashes. This is nothing new.

Tanner

[Deep sigh.]

I know.

[Quieter, mumbled under their breath.]

That’s what scares me.

Lucy

[Chuckles quietly.]

You worry too much. Always have.

Tanner

I just… I don’t want to lose you.

Lucy

[Sigh.]

I know and I don’t want to leave you, firefly, but life has a way of throwing hard to beat things at us. The good thing is that you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.

[Light coughing.]

Tanner

Here, drink some water.

[Pause.]

What could possibly be a good enough reason to lose you, though?

Lucy

I don’t know, Ashes, but you will when you come across it.

Tanner

You mean if I come across it.

Lucy

[Lucy hesitates.]

...Right. If.

Tanner

I mean it, Lucy. I’m going to find a cure, a treatment, something. You’re going to be okay. Hell, when I find it, I’ll even name it after you.

Lucy

I know you’ll find a cure. You’re smart and determined. I always knew you were gonna do good things, even back when we first met. I know you’ll find it. I believe in you, firefly.

[Musical interlude.]

Lucy

[Sounding very weak and tired, but firm.]

You should go. Even if it can’t help me, there are more people out there. That’s what you’ve always wanted to do, Ashes, help people.

Tanner

[Sigh.]

Yeah, but what if something happens and I’m not here to help? I’m not just gonna leave you, Luc.

[Clothing rustles.]

Lucy

Go. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. If things start getting worse I’ll check myself into the hospital, I promise. I love you, Ashes, and I know you love me, but there’s more in this world than just me, and you deserve to see it. Go. Do what you do and help people.

Tanner

[Tanner sighs again. Pause.]

...Okay, I’ll go.

[More clothing rustles as Tanner hugs Lucy.]

You have to promise that you’ll hold on for me, though. I’ll bring back a cure, I promise.

Lucy

I’ll try. I love you, Ashes and I know you’ll always come back to me, but, please, remember, no matter what, I’ll always be right by your side, firefly.

Tanner

[Hum of contentment.]

I know. I love you too.

[Musical interlude.]

Tanner

Okay, you’re gonna be okay, but we’re going to postpone upping the dosage until you’re a bit more stable. You’re gonna be fine, I just need you to make sure you get some rest.

[Rory starts to protest but Tanner cuts her off.]

Tanner

Not debatable, Rory. Go rest.

Rory

[Dramatic sigh.]

Fine. I really am fine though.

Tanner

[Noise of affirmation, but somehow they make it sarcastic.]

Do you need help back to your room?

Rory

Nah, I’ll manage. It’s not that far from the lab anyways.

[Noise of the lab door opening.]

Tanner

Okay. Page me if you need anything or your symptoms get worse. I don’t want you getting out of bed any more than you have to today.

Rory

Okay, okay!

[Sound of the lab door shutting behind her. Noise of Tanner sitting down.]

Tanner

Just hang on for me. I’ll be back soon.

[Musical interlude, followed by the click of a recorder.]

Rory

[A quiet cough.]

Personal log of Rory Black… Well, I got Dr. Tanner to look me in the eyes for once. All it took was me nearly passing out in the medbay.

[Sigh.]

We’re not going up on my dosage again for a while, they say it’s too dangerous… Part of me is almost… disappointed. I-is that wrong? Like… I’m not doing great, but it’s manageable and I-I don’t know much about it, I’m not a microbiologist and Dr. Tanner isn’t exactly…

[She trails off.]

I’m not a microbiologist, but Ultrapoltis said the vaccine was… important. I wanna tell Dr. Tanner to keep going, but… I don’t wanna seem like I’m telling them how to do their job or something.

[Mumbled, barely audible.]

I don’t wanna upset them more than I already seem to have.

[Pause.]

...I’m doing worse than I told them… a lot worse. I downplayed… most of the symptoms. I-I know- I know I shouldn’t have, but...

[Frustrated groan.]

God, I don’t know. It was the only thing that made me of use onboard, until we get to our destination. I just… I feel useless. Dr. Tanner already hates me enough, now that I can’t keep up with the trials, they’re gonna think I’m a waste of space even more than they already do. I just… I came here wanting to do something good with my life. I just wanted to help people, but I’m a fucking astrobiologist! What help is that to anyone? Even worse, I’m an astrobiologist with no astro to biologize!

[Coughing.]

And I can’t even be Dr. Tanner’s lab assistant, ‘cause they refuse to talk to me about their research, even about the vaccine trials, which I’m literally the test subject of!

[Pause.]

I just wanted to do good. I just wanted to help people, but it seems like everything I’m doing is wrong and I don’t know how to fix it. I can’t even be sick right!

[Pause.]

It's okay. We'll make it work. I always do.

Tanner

Personal log of Dr. Ashes Tanner.

[Sigh.]

I’m worried about Dr. Black. Vela is having limited reactions, as to be expected, and Cassian has had zero adverse effects, which… well, that’s an issue for a different day. Dr. Black… Rory… her condition is much worse than I thought it would be right now. I have to draw back for her safety, even if it means that I send a few false updates to mission control.

[Pause.]

I look at Rory and I can’t help but to see her. And I know that’s not fair to Rory, it’s not her fault that she looks almost identical to Lucy, but I just…

[Pause, followed by a sigh.]

I miss you, Luc. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through these years without you and I…

I know that I had to come up here to protect you. They said… Well, it doesn’t matter what they said because I’m up here and you’re down there and you’re safe from them. But I...

[A deep, shaky breath. They sound close to tears.]

I’m... still terrified that I’m going to make it back and you’ll be…

[Another shaky breath. Hastily.]

Nevermind, this was stupid. End log.

[There is a click as Tanner turns off their recording.]

[Outro by Gray Sienna.]

[Credits.]

This is The Hades Project. Intro and outro music was produced by Gray Sienna. Thank you to our lab skeleton, Boney Hawk, and thank you for listening.

Episode 5: Something Something Time Loop

Trigger Warnings

Swearing

Explosions (1:14 - 1:19), (2:56 - 3:03), (4:41 - 4:48), (7:33 - 7:40), (12:11 - 12:18), (14:31 - 14:38)

Alarms (0:43 - 1:14), (7:31 - 7:36), (11:46 - 12:14), (14:10 - 14:32)

Snoring (0:05 - 1:14), (10:45 - 12:14), (15:55 - 17:29)

Heavy breathing (2:41 - 3:07), (4:35 - 4:40), (5:26 - 5:30),

Panicked/frustrated talking (5:18 - 5:30), (5:34 - 5:48), (6:01 - 6:13), (12:06 - 12:07), (12:27 - 12:41), (16:08 - 16:10)

Brief mentions of death

Loud noise (13:32 - 13:35)

[Sounds of the lab, accompanied by typing on a console. A little snoring from Tanner.]

Cass

Hook this up to the port. No, the one below it.

Mal

Right.

[Pause.]

Are you sure we won’t wake Tanner with this? I think this is some of the first sleep they’ve gotten all week.

Cass

It’s coding. As long as you don’t knock anything over, it’s fine.

[Pause.]

What do you need this for anyways?

Mal

So I’m trying to process this reading I got earlier today from that meteor that passed by, but it’s out of range, so I need the parameters adjusted to account for that.

Cass

That should be pretty easy, let me just…

[He trails off and does a bunch of typing, before finishing with a flourish.]

There! That should be it.

[A chime, followed by beeping from the computer.]

Mal

Woah, what’s that?

Cass

I don’t know, that’s weird.

[Some more typing.]

What the- what’s “the Hades Trials”?

[An alarm blares.]

Computer System

Alert: Files deleting. Full system shutdown in 3… 2… 1…

[A loud explosion.]

[Intro plays - Event Horizon [jupiter] by Gray Sienna]

[At the airlock. Mal is getting suited up to go on a spacewalk. Amaya zips up the suit.]

Amaya

Okay, you’re all set to go. You should have three hours of oxygen in the tank, not that you’ll need all of it.

[Pause.]

Mal? You okay?

Mal

Uh, yeah, sorry. Just got déjà vu or something... I should only be out there for 20 minutes, I’m just taking some readings, and I’ll be right back in.

Aiden

Good, I need to meet with Captain Green in a little bit, so let’s make this quick.

[Heavy footsteps. The airlock door hisses open, and there’s sounds of a spacewalk, followed by the same explosion.]

[Amaya zips up Mal's spacesuit.]

Amaya

Okay, you’re all set to go. You should have three hours of oxygen in the tank, not that you’ll need all of it.

[Pause.]

Mal? You okay?

Mal

Okay, what’s going on?

Amaya

Uh... I’m getting you suited up for a spacewalk? Like you asked?

Mal

No, I already did the space walk. You were there, remember? We already had this conversation four times. You told me I had three hours, but I don’t need three hours, and the Commander has a meeting with the Captain, and Cass and I-

[Pause.]

We die today, don’t we?

Aiden

Officer Paulitious, what are you talking about? Are you alright?

Mal

[Brushing it off.]

Yeah, Commander, I’m fine. Probably just remembering some weird dream. All good here, though. No problem.

Aiden

Sure...

Amaya

Are you sure you’re okay to go on a spacewalk, Mal?

Mal

I’m fine, really. I promised Tanner I’d get those readings and they’d probably be pissed if I backed out now. Then I’d really die today.

Aiden

Well, just be careful, alright?

[The same sounds as before. Heavy footsteps. The airlock door hisses open, and there’s sounds of a spacewalk, followed by the explosion.]

Mal

Alright, so I know I don’t normally call meetings, but things are pretty… fucked. I think.

Rory

Fucked in like, the normal way or worse?

Mal

[Chuckles nervously.]

Worse, I’d say. I think we’re stuck in some kind of… time loop? Like, I’m supposed to do a space walk because I volunteered to get those meteor samples for Tanner, but I know I’ve done my space walk, and then I come back here, and Cass starts helping me out, and then all of the sudden, there-there’s lights and alarms and--.

Aiden

Alright, calm down, Officer. You’re rambling.

Mal

No, I’m serious, something’s going on! I’ve done today like six times already, and it always goes wrong. Something always causes the ship to explode, and then the day starts over again, and I’m back in the airlock with Amaya and the Commander. Something is really wrong, and I don’t know what it is!

Madison

Mal, time loops don’t exist, that’s not how science works.

Bryn

Why would we be in a time loop anyways? That doesn’t make sense.

Mal

[Groans in frustration.]

I don’t know why we’re in a loop, but I know we’re in one! And based on the fact that I’m the only one who seems to remember, it probably means it’s because I fucked up and need y’all’s help! Can someone please back me up here?!?

Aiden

Alright, folks, let’s all calm down and take a breath. Let’s not get heated. Everyone, y’all are dismissed back to your duties.

[Several people walk away. The door opens as they leave.]

Officer Paulitious, are you feelin' okay? You been taking care of yourself?

Mal

Of course I’m okay! Why wouldn’t I be?

Aiden

Alright… if you say so, but um… maybe you should take the afternoon off and rest up anyways.

[Footsteps as Aiden leaves. The door closes.]

Mal

[She sighs and turns to Rory.]

You believe me, right?

Rory

I believe… that you believe you’re in a time loop.

[She coughs.]

Fuck, Mal, I don’t know. Maybe just try doing different stuff than you normally do?

Mal

Yeah, sure.

[A brief pause. The same alarms and explosion as before.]

Amaya

Okay, you’re all set to go. You should have three hours of oxygen--

Mal

You know what? I might use the whole three hours this time around. Fuck it.

Amaya

Uh, what?

Mal

Yup. I could just stay out there for three hours. It won’t matter in a bit anyway, so let’s test it out, yeah?

Aiden

Officer Paulitious, are you alright?

Mal

Yes, sir! Just sick of this shit is all. I’ve lived through seven Tuesdays back to back and I know you’re probably going to tell me to just hit the showers and chill, but we can just skip all that and let me get those samples.

Aiden

Um, okay. Officer Suzuki, maybe you oughta go out there with her, just in case.

Amaya

Uh… sure.

Mal

Why not?

[The airlock opens. Cut to Amaya and Mal on a spacewalk.)

Amaya

So… are you good? You kind of got a little snappy at Aiden back there.

Mal

Yeah, I guess you could say I’m fine.

Amaya

Yeah, I definitely don’t believe that at all. You’re not very convincing.

[A moment.]

Seriously, what’s up?

Mal

Okay, before I answer, will you believe me? Because I know I sound crazy right now, but I’m serious, and I just need someone to go with me on this.

Amaya

Um, sure, I’ll believe you.

Mal

Cool, cool. You say that now, at least.

[Mal sighs.]

We’re stuck in this weird loop thing. I’ve gone through this like seven times already. Well, not this but today. And it always ends bad; something triggers an emergency and we fucking explode or something.

Amaya

...ah, I see.

Mal

[Mal groans, disappointed.]

You don’t believe me, do you?

Amaya

No, no, no, I believe you! It’s just… well, you know…it’s quite the thing to drop.

Mal

Yeah… I guess you’re right, but I can’t exactly prove it to you, ya know? You’ll forget anyways.

Amaya

I suppose you’re right…

[Pause.]

Well, do you know why it’s happening? Maybe just don’t do that?

Mal

That would be great if I knew what actually caused it. The loop ends with me and Cass in the lab looking at code shit before something explodes and I don’t know if we cause the explosion or someone else.

[Pause.]

I guess I can rule out Tanner because they’re asleep every time.

Amaya

Well, if it’s an explosion, then maybe it’s a structural problem. Something could overheat and the pipes could burst, or the oxygen tanks get lit up for some reason? I mean, any uncontrolled flame would be a big issue on the Hades.

Mal

Oh, you’re a genius! Would you be willing to come to the lab and check things out for me?

Amaya

Um, sure, I guess I don’t have anything else on the schedule for today.

[Dodododo - musical interlude!]

[Various sounds of lab machinery, Tanner snores, and walking.]

Mal

We should probably keep things a bit quiet if we can, but I’d really appreciate it if you could check any spark-making potential while I get my equipment set up for these samples.

Amaya

[Still sounds confused, but on board if it means helping Mal out.]

Yeah, sure. It’s probably time for a maintenance check anyway.

[Sounds of Amaya walking away and shuffling through somethings, then a door opening.]

Cass

Hey, you needed to see me?

Mal

Yeah! I gotta adjust these parameters real fast for a really high radiation reading, but I can’t really figure it out. Think you could take a crack at it?

Cass

Yeah, no problem.

Mal

Thanks, you’re like a coding wizard.

Cass

[/lh]

I know, I’m a genius.

Mal

Hell yeah you are!

[Sounds of rapid typing and beeps begin to sound.]

Amaya

[From across the room.]

Everything looks okay to me so far, where are your burners so I can check the tubing?

Mal

[Sounding a bit worried about things being okay.]

They’re right behind us. You sure everything looks good?

Amaya

Yeah, I think so…

[Beep beep! (the same one as before)]

Cass

[Confused, like before.]

Woah, what was that? That’s weird.

[Typing.]

What the- what’s “the Hades Trials”?

Mal

Hades Trials? What’s that?

[The same alarm as before blares.]

Cass

What the-

Amaya

Uh, what’s going on?!

Cass

I don’t know- wait, something’s deleting the files, I-

[BOOM. Explosion time once again.]

[Silence. And then, the telltale sounds of the airlock.]

Mal

[Getting real tired of this.]

Oh, come on!

Amaya

Jesus-

[She stumbles, panting heavily. She’s def freaking out.]

What was that?!

Mal

[Snaps into Mal comfort mode.]

Whoa, wait. This is new. Are you good, A?

Amaya

[Not registering her. She’s straight up panicking.]

Ohmygodohmygodo-

Aiden

[Absolutely no clue where this came from.]

What the hell- what just happened?

Mal

Really not the time, Commander!

[Beat.]

Hey, Amaya, can you breathe for me? What’s happening?

Aiden

Amaya, are you okay?

[Dododo - transition ooooo]

Amaya

Okay, what just happened?

Mal

I told you before! Time keeps repeating! I come to do this stupid space walk to get those samples for Tanner, I go back to the lab, and it explodes. This has been happening for ages now and I’m not exactly sure why you remember now too.

Amaya

Okay…

[Beat.]

Have you just tried not going on the space walk?

Mal

[Frustrated groan.]

Of course I’ve tried! But when I did Tanner just got someone else to go instead.

Amaya

Have you tried stopping anyone else from going out?

Mal

Yes. But somebody goes anyway because they think I’m kidding around.

[Beat.]

Wait a minute…

[A crash, followed by electricity crackling.]

Amaya

Mal! What did you do that for? You ruined the sensor!

Mal

How long will it take to fix it?

Amaya

[Sigh.]

A few hours, at least.

Mal

Good. That should buy us some time for the asteroid to pass then.

[Transition to the Lab.]

Cass

Hey, Mal. You needed me?

Mal

Cass!

[Pause.]

Yeah, my computer’s being weird for some reason. Think you could take a look?

Cass

Sure, just give me a bit.

[Typing. A small ding is heard and the alarm starts going off.]

Huh. The Hades Trials? That’s weird. Wait something-- something is deleting the files, I--

Computer System

Alert: Files deleting. Full system shutdown in 3… 2… 1…

[The beeping grows and there is an explosion.]

Amaya

Okay, we’re close. We’ve got to be.

Mal

Yeah, I don’t think we can take any more of this. Especially that damn lab accident. Got any thoughts?

Amaya

[Sighing.]

Well, I think we can safely rule out any engineering or structural issues. We’ve triple checked everything I can think of. It’s probably gotta be something in the lab.

Mal

Yeah, it can’t be whatever I took from that asteroid since the accident still happens even if I don’t go get it. But it’s been a few turns since we’ve sat down to figure it out, so what are the consistencies? We know the spacewalk started this whole thing, probably some radiation or exposure or something.

Amaya

[Sighs.]

Right. But skipping it doesn’t make a difference, so it can’t be the trigger for the explosion or anything. It’s just how the reset is happening.

Mal

It always happens when Cass starts messing with my computer, regardless of what we’re doing. And I told him I needed his help before I even went on the spacewalk, so he’s always been there to mess with it. Do you think it could be that?

Amaya

I mean, I don’t see how coding starts a lab fire, but at this point I’d settle for any explanation.

Mal

You said earlier that a spark in the lab would be a serious issue. Could a computer cause that?

Amaya

I guess it could, if it got overheated or something got messed up. Come on, let’s go take a look.

[Interlude.]

[Tanner is once again snoring.]

Mal

Do you see anything?

Amaya

[Muffled.]

Woah. Dude, your wiring is super messed up, the plastic is all kinds of broken. This is a fire hazard waiting to happen. It’s a miracle this didn’t cause an issue before.

Mal

Wait, really?! You mean to tell me this all happened because whoever set up my computer messed up???

Amaya

[Getting up, speaking normally.]

Listen, for a state of the art ship built by an advanced company, the Hades is kind of a piece of junk. Trust me, things break way more often than they really should.

Mal

Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m not sure what was on that meteor to cause time to loop, but I guess I'm glad it happened. I’ll see if I can use a different computer to study whatever it is.

Amaya

I still don’t get why you went back out to get that stuff from the asteroid.

Mal

It caused time to loop for me, so I gotta know what it is. And who knows? It might come in handy later on. At this point, I don’t know what’s going to happen and a little insurance would be nice.

Amaya

Yeah… weird mission we’re on… Well, at least no lab fire right? So, we’re all okay.

Mal

That’s definitely true. Do you think we should tell everybody what’s been going on? We’ve been acting kind of weird from their perspective. And I probably owe the Commander a ton of apologies. Even if she doesn’t remember, I did yell at her and kind of break the door panels.

Amaya

Yeah, we should probably call a meeting.

Mal

[Super cheesy.]

Yeah, I guess you could say it’s time we all had a talk.

Amaya

Really, already?

[They both laugh.]

[Outro Event Horizon by Gray Sienna.]

[Knocking.]

Aiden

Come in.

[The door opens and Vela walks in.]

Vela

Hey, Commander, can I talk to you about something? It's about Dr. Tanner…

[The door closes.]

[Announcements.]

Hi there, it's Jupiter! I've got a couple of quick things to talk about today. First, I want to thank you for listening. We are so incredibly thankful to every single person who has listened to an episode of The Hades Project. We are now at the midpoint of our first season. With that, we're going to be taking a short break, so you can expect Episode 6 to air on September 22nd and then we will continue our bi-weekly schedule through the end of the season. Now, don't fret, we're not going to be silent. On our normal posting Wednesdays, you will still be getting content from us so keep your eyes open for that. Additionally, I want to let you know that our theme, Event Horizon, produced by the absolutely wonderful Gray Sienna is now available to stream. So go give it a listen or like 20 listens or a hundred or however many you desire. Gray is an absolutely amazing artist and we would love for you all to go listen to their work. Thank you so much and we hope that you enjoyed the first half of The Hades Project season one.

[Credits.]

This is The Hades Project. Intro and outro music was produced by Gray Sienna. Thank you to our lab skeleton, Dee Ceased, and thank you for listening.

Episode 6: Failure

Trigger Warnings:

Swearing

Coughing/Struggling to breathe

Talk of medical procedures

Character death

Suicidal ideation

Self deprecation

Rory

I fucked up. I-I fucked up--

[Coughing.]

I think I fucked up bad th-this time.

[Coughing.]

I d-don’t know i-if I’m gonna--

[Coughing fit, the recorder clicks, cutting her off.]

[Intro - Event Horizon [jupiter] by Gray Sienna]

Rory

Personal log of--

[She clears her throat.]

Personal… personal log of Rory Black. I’m… starting to wonder if I should tell Dr. Tanner how bad my symptoms really are… They just keep getting worse and… i-it’s probably just from all the coughing making my throat sore, but… I… I coughed up a lot of blood this morning.

[Frustrated groan..]

I just-I don’t know how to tell them that I… Well, basically lied. Not exactly the most trust inspiring in a lab assistant! Fuck, I don’t know. It’s probably just going up on the doses. I’m probably just having a reaction and it’ll fade as my body gets used to it, like it did last time. I’m probably just being overdramatic.

[A sharp exhale.]

No, it’s fine. I’m… I’m fine. End log.

[Recorder clicks off.]

Rory

I fucked up. I-I fucked up--

[Coughing.]

I think I fucked up bad th-this time.

[Coughing.]

I d-don’t know i-if I’m gonna--

[Coughing fit, the recorder clicks, cutting her off.]

[A beat. Recorder clicks back on. Slow footsteps. The door opens.]

Rory

Doc--. Help…

[There’s a heavy thud and silence.]

[The door opens.]

Tanner

Lu-?

[Footsteps.]

Fuck. Rory! Rory, can you hear me?

[Pager buzzes.]

I need immediate assistance in the medbay. It's Rory-- shit. I'm starting chest compressions, someone get the fuck down here, now.

[Sounds of chest compressions.]

Come on, Rory. You can't do this. I can't-- I can't lose you too.

[A heart monitor fades in.]

Tanner

Okay, so I’m going to get this set up and...

[The heart monitor slows, then flatlines.]

Tanner

Goddamnit. No, no, come on.

Rory, stay with us. Maia, chest compressions.

[Under their breath.]

Stay with me.

[The noises fade out.]

[The sound of the heart monitor fades in again, but it’s a steady beat and a lot quieter than it was before.]

Rory

[The soft sound of her stirring awake. A wince of pain as she tries to get up too fast. A beat as she surveys her surroundings.]

...Dr. Tanner?

[She speaks again, quieter this time.]

Maia?

[Distant footsteps echoing down the hall, getting closer.]

Dr. Tanner?

Maia

Nope, just me. Sorry to disappoint.

Rory

You could never disappoint me. Wh-what happened?

Maia

[Tired sigh.]

I’m… not fully sure. Tanner paged me, said you were in the medbay, unresponsive. There was a lot of internal bleeding. You’re going to be on bed rest for a while.

Rory

Where’s Dr. Tanner? I-I thought… I thought they were….

Maia

They were here. They did most of the fixing you up, if I’m honest. They said something about going back to their quarters once you were stable.

[There’s movement as Rory attempts to get out of bed and noises of pain.]

Maia

And where, exactly, do you think you’re going?

Rory

...I need to talk to them.

Maia

Nope. You need rest. Quite frankly, so do they. I’ll tell them you want to talk to them in the morning, okay honey?

Rory

Fine.

[Silence.]

Maia

Good mornin--

Rory

[Cutting Maia off.]

Did you talk to Dr. Tanner?

Maia

I… told them…. They… they didn’t respond. They’re okay, alive at least. I heard them moving about their room, but… last night was… a lot. I think they just need some time.

Rory

I just… I have to talk to them. I have to apologize. This is my fault, I should’ve told them, but I didn’t want to upset them, and now I’ve just completely fucked it all up.

Maia

You haven’t fucked it all up, dear. Tanner’s just… dealing with things in their own way… A lot happened yesterday... Just be patient with them. I’m sure they’ll come around.

Rory

...I guess.

[Silence.]

Rory

[Heavy sigh.]

Personal log of Rory Black…. It’s certainly been an eventful past few days. I… died. Apparently the tests that Dr. Tanner was doing weren’t vaccine trials.

I-I think they were testing a virus out on me? I don’t fully understand it, but…apparently I flatlined. My heart stopped. I died. The rest of the crew is really angry…. I haven’t seen Dr. Tanner since… I don’t know. I just… the last thing I remember before… before I… well, died was their face and it-it was afraid. They were… afraid. I should’ve told them. I should’ve told them. They probably don’t want to see me. Can’t say I blame them. I fucked up. I fucked up.

[The recorder clicks off.]

[Recorder clicks on.]

Rory

Okay, hi again, sorry. There was… one more thing I wanted to… talk about, I guess. I think… I think I met someone really important….

[Recorder clicks off. The heart monitor beeps before flatlining, Tanner speaks in the background, but it echoes.]

[A loud gasp..]

Lucy

Hi Rory.

Rory

Wha-who are you? Where… is this the medbay? Why does it look…. You--you look…

Lucy

My name’s Lucy. Now, we don’t have a lot of time and I have a lot to tell you, okay? It’s not my place to tell you who I am, but you’ll find out soon, I promise you that. Ashes… is going to take this hard. They won’t admit it, but they need you. It’s not going to be easy, they… definitely don’t make it easy, but trust me, when I say it’s worth it… They used to laugh, believe it or not. Oh, Rory, you should’ve seen how they danced. They had this… light. It was like nothing else… it… faded when I got sick… I know you’re going to be part of the reason they get that light back. It’s not going to be easy for either of you, but sometimes… sometimes it felt like their smile burned brighter than the sun. Please, don’t blame them for this. Things are… going to get very, very bad for them soon and they’re going to need someone to fall back on. Please, be that person. They won’t let you in, not just yet, but you’ll know when. Just be there. Ashes is a better person than they’ll ever be able to believe and I know you can see that too. They’re going to need your trust. Be their anchor and they’ll show you how to fly. Rory, I promise. A-and, when that time comes, please tell them that… I love them and I’m sorry I couldn’t hang on, but the thing to make it all worth it, might just be closer than they think. Tell them… tell them not to hide themself away.

[Softer.]

The world deserves to see your light, firefly.

Rory

I… I don’t think I can forgive them. I never blamed them in the first place.

Lucy

For the record? I’m glad it’s you.

[The sound starts to fade out as she says that, overlapping instead with the noise of the heart monitor, before that slowly fades out as well into complete silence.]

[You hear footsteps walking along the hall before stopping abruptly.]

Rory

God, just do it.

[Pause.]

I don’t even know what to say to them.

[Pause.]

No, fuck it.

[Knocking. Rory raises her voice.]

Um, hi, Dr. Tanner?

[Beat. No response.]

I… c-can we talk?

[Pause.]

Please?

[Still no response. A deep sigh.]

Okay, um, you-you know where to find me, if you, uh, change your… mind. I guess.

[Rory walks away from their door.]

[Silence.]

Rory

Personal log of Rory Black. I really did fuck up this time. They won’t even talk to me. I haven’t… I haven’t seen them since… Fuck. This is all my fault. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do what… she told me to. God, I don’t even know if that was real! I died, for all I know that could’ve been a… like a… death hallucination?

[A frustrated groan.]

God. I just feel so fucking helpless. I feel so fucking helpless!

Tanner

[Fuzzy audio. This is an old, recorded log..]

Personal log of Ashes Tanner. Hi, there! I’m sorry that I haven’t sent a message sooner… I was waiting for the Communication’s Room to finally be empty before I sent this because the communications officers aboard this ship are... eccentric at best and I don’t need them, or anyone for that matter, making fun of me for this. Anyways… If I think sending this out right, and I think that I am… But you know physics was never my strong suit. Point is… Happy birthday, Lucy. I love you so much. I can’t wait to see you again.

[Outro by Gray Sienna.]

[Credits.]

This is The Hades Project. It is inspired by Wolf 359. Intro and outro music was produced by Gray Sienna. Thank you to our lab skeleton, Patella the Hun, and thank you for listening.

Episode 7: Flatline

Trigger Warnings:

Descriptions of medical procedures

Hospital-like noises

Character death

[The door opens.]

Tanner

Lu-?

[Pause.]

Fuck. Rory! Rory, can you hear me?

[Pager buzzes.]

I need immediate assistance in the medbay. It's Rory-- shit. I'm starting chest compressions, someone get the fuck down here, now.

[Sounds of chest compressions.]

Come on, Rory. You can't do this. I can't-- I can't lose you too.

[Intro - Event Horizon [jupiter] by Gray Sienna]

Aiden

[Intercom buzzes.]

Dr. Tanner, could you please report to my office?

Tanner

[Fuzzy, over the intercom.]

I’m a little busy, Commander.

Aiden

Now, Doctor. That is an order.

Tanner

[Sighs.]

Right… be there in a few.

[The intercom buzzes off.]

Vela

Just like that? Commander Bailey, are you nuts?

Aiden

Trust me. And let me be the one to bring it up. We need to be delicate with Dr. Tanner.

Vela

Okay. What are we going to tell them?

Aiden

Good question.

[Knock on the door.]

Aiden

It’s open.

[The door opens and there are footsteps as Tanner enters.]

Tanner

Commander. What did you need to talk about? I’d really like to get back to work.

Aiden

Doctor, please sit.

Tanner

Officer. Did you need something in particular… or? Can I help you with something?

Aiden

Actually, you can. How’s your research going, Doctor?

Tanner

It’s been successful so far, but I have a lot to do. Is that all, Commander?

Aiden

It’s uh, microbiology, right? Goes hand in hand with the medical thing as well, huh? Doing anything with that?

Tanner

I’m confused. Do you have something you’d like to say?

Vela

Who’s Lucy?

Tanner

That is none of your business.

Aiden

Dr. Tanner. This is important. What are you doing here?

Tanner

Other than my job, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Vela

Lucy is dead. The higher ups at Ultrapoltis thought you would stop whatever you’re doing when you found out, but--

Aiden

[Cutting her off.]

Officer Klein-

Vela

No, Commander. What are you doing, Tanner? What is so important?

Tanner

If you must know, I’m doing what’s been asked of me. I was hired as a researcher and that’s what I’m doing. Now, if you don’t have anything else you’d like to ask me or any more wild claims of my wife being dead, I’d like to get back to work.

[Tense silence.]

Aiden

Dr. Tanner… it’s not a claim. Lucy is dead.

Tanner

What, is this some kind of sick prank? She’s fine. She’s back on Earth and she’s safe because she’s there and I’m here.

[A click and a recorded message starts playing. It glitches throughout.]

Dem

And Lucy is dead.

Poor thing was mugged in an alley on her way to the hospital.

Dem

Dr. Tanner’s reports have all been indicating that their subjects do not know the truth behind the vaccine trials and the doses have had increasingly negative effects on the subjects. The doctor is not to be informed about Lucy.

For now, we’ll let them continue their work in peace.

Dem

We’ll let our dear doctor know soon enough.

Dem/Et

We don’t want them getting discouraged.

[A click as the recording is turned off.]

Computer System

Archived report. August 5th, 2012. For Ultrapoltis records only.

[Long pause.]

Aiden

Dr. Tanner?

Tanner

I’m going back to the lab. Thank you for your time, Officer. Commander.

[Footsteps and the door opening and closing.]

Vela

Tanner?

Aiden

Leave it be, Officer. I’ll talk to them again in a little bit.

[Tense music interlude.]

Tanner

She can’t be dead. She can’t-- S-She promised. No. No, get it together, Ashes. You have work to do.

[The door opens.]

Lu-?

[Pause.]

Fuck. Rory! Rory, can you hear me?

[Pager buzzes.]

I need immediate assistance in the medbay. It's Rory-- shit. I'm starting chest compressions, someone get the fuck down here, now.

[Sounds of chest compressions.]

Come on, Rory. You can't do this. I can't-- I can't lose you too.

[Tanner counts under their breath and does compressions. The door opens and Maia rushes in.]

Maia

Dr. Tanner? What’s happening?

Tanner

[Coming up from breaths.]

Come help me with compressions. Now, Maia.

[Sounds of counting and compressions fading into tense music.]

Tanner

I’ve got a pulse, help me get her on the table.

[Sounds of a struggle as Tanner and Maia lift Rory onto the exam table.]

Tanner

Okay, she has internal bleeding, we need to get her red cells, now. Of course, we don’t have any blood products on board because they’d expire, but on top of that, she has the worst blood type for matching. Fucking O Neg, universal donor, picky receiver. Lucky for her, we do have another crewmember with that blood type. Get her hooked up with a monitor.

Maia

On it.

Tanner

[Intercom buzzes.]

Amaya, I need you in the medbay yesterday.

[Intercom buzzes off. Heart-rate monitor starts beeping.]

Maia

Okay, we’re going. What happened, Tanner?

Tanner

I…

[Pause.]

She must have had a worse reaction… I-I didn’t catch it… This is my fault.

Maia

Come on, this isn’t your--

[She is cut off by the door opening.]

Amaya

[Panting.]

I’m here. What do you need?

Tanner

Have you ever donated blood before?

[Music interlude.]

[The heart monitor beeps steadily.]

Tanner

Okay, so I’m going to get this set up and--

[The heart monitor flatlines.]

Tanner

Goddamnit. No, no, come on. Rory, stay with us. Maia, chest compressions.

[Under their breath.]

Come on, stay with me.

[Music interlude, followed by soft beeping of the heart monitor.]

Tanner

[Deep, shaky breath.]

We’re stable. Thank you both for your help. You’re free to go, Amaya.

Amaya

Is she going to be okay?

Tanner

Yeah… yeah, she should be fine.

[Amaya walks away, the door opens. There is a moment of tense silence.]

Maia

So… do you want to tell me why you think that this is your fault?

[Tanner makes a noise like they’re going to start talking, but is interrupted by the buzz of their pager.]

Tanner

Sorry… I… I have to meet with the Commander to go over this. Can you keep an eye on her?

Maia

Yeah… I can do that.

[Music interlude, followed by a soft knock.]

Aiden

Come in.

[The door opens. Footsteps.]

Aiden

What happened?

Tanner

Rory had a bad reaction. She’s stable now, but… we lost her for a little while.

[Pause.]

You’re sure that transmission is real?

Aiden

Yes, I’m sure it is, Dr. Tanner.

Tanner

[Deep sigh.]

Then I suppose I should just start from the beginning.

[Interlude music.]

Tanner

[Recorder clicks on.]

This is... Ashes Tanner aboard the USS Hades. Rory is alive, barely. She’s in bad condition and Lucy is… gone. Has been for a long time. Which means, everything that I’ve done up here has been for nothing. I’ve hurt so many people, for nothing.

[Recorder clicks off.]

Tanner

[A recorder clicks on again.]

This is Ashes Tanner aboard the USS Hades and I’m here to talk about what I’ve done. Three years ago, my wife Lucy got sick. I was searching for a cure for her, when Ultrapoltis reached out to me. They threatened me. They told me that if I didn’t join the Hades Project, then they would kill Lucy. I lied to her, told her that it was an offer to fund my research, as long as I went on the expedition. So, it was under that threat that I agreed to join the project. It was only right before launch when I was informed of my additional duties. I was commanded to experiment on some of my crewmates, or else Lucy would be dying sooner. So I did as I was told, giving doses of a theoretically harmful substance to Rory, Cassian, and Vela, under the guise of a vaccine trial. Except, I never meant to actually hurt anyone. Only induce minor changes that I could report back as research. But Rory reacted badly to the doses I gave her. I’m not sure what caused the issue. Regardless, the harm caused to Rory, mixed with the realization that Lucy has died months ago, has led me to come forward about all that I’ve done. I’ve told Commander Bailey all that I’ve done and I will be stepping down as head medical officer, effective immediately.

[A knock can be heard, followed by Maia’s voice muffled, asking Tanner if they’re okay. Tanner doesn’t respond and the recording clicks off.]

[Outro by Gray Sienna]

Rory

[A soft knock.]

...Hey, um, it’s… me… again. I’ll, um, leave you alone after this, but, um, I just… Sorry. I just wanted to say sorry. I know, I know I fucked up.

A-and I’m not… saying this to ask for… forgiveness or something, I just…

[A tense pause.]

...I’m sorry.

[A long, tense pause.]

Right. Yeah. Okay. This was a stupid idea.

[Credits.]

This is The Hades Project. It is inspired by Wolf 359. Intro and outro music was produced by Gray Sienna. Thank you to our lab skeleton, Thomas Deadison, and thank you for listening.

Episode 8: Bad Reaction

Trigger Warnings:

Swearing

Hallucinations

[Intro - Event Horizon [jupiter] by Gray Sienna]

[Recorder click.]

Kepler

This is the audio log of Kepler aboard the USS Hades. We've been on our travels for a couple of months now and everything is… well it's going. What's been the most interesting is what I can hear up here in the vents. I think most of the crew forgets I'm up here, which, honestly is fine with me. Anyways, I keep catching bits and pieces of people recording logs. I try not to listen, I know that these logs can be personal sometimes… but… I don't know, it seems like things have been rough and I want to keep my ears open. Maybe I can be that listening ear to them… in secret, at least.

[Recorder click.]

Aiden

Come on, Aiden, you’ve got work to do.

[Clears throat.]

This is the log of Commander Aiden Bailey aboard the USS Hades. Today is day 86 of our journey. It’s… well, it’s been a long day… Start with the good things. Let’s see… my crew is alive and… okay, that’s it on the good pile, I suppose. The bad pile, however, well that’s a list I’m not sure I fully want to go through.

[She sighs.]

I… I’m not sure how to deal with all this. I don’t know what game the folks at Ultrapoltis are playing, but I don’t think I like it. Hell, I probably won’t even send this log in, I’m really just talkin’ to get it all out. Tanner told me everything about what they've done and why they're here. As commander of this ship, they've hurt my crew… but from a personal standpoint… Listen, I just, I don't blame them. Objectively, what they did was terrible and immoral, but when in a tough spot, one makes tough decisions, and Dr. Tanner makes theirs. By all accounts it seems that they never meant to harm anyone and I think that speaks volumes about who they are.

[She sighs.]

As for the crew, well, they have a right to know what Dr. Tanner's done, and I will be sharing that with them, especially those that were a part of the faux vaccine trials. I… I think I'm going to omit the details though. Tanner can talk about their personal life if they'd like, but for their sake, I'm just going to tell the crew that someone they were close with was threatened. And they'll get to make their own decisions on whether or not to forgive the doctor.

Computer System

Delete audio log?

Aiden

Yeah, I'm going to delete this one.

Computer System

Log deleted.

[Recorder click.]

Amaya

Log of Amaya Suzuki aboard the U.S.S. Hades. Day 86. Wow, only three months? Feels like forever…I just got back from giving Rory some blood, and figured now’s as good a time as any to make a log… I’ve still got my bandaid on and everything… It’s a lot. It’s a lot, right? Blackmail? What is that even supposed to mean? And Rory almost dying? I knew she was sick, but I didn’t think it was that bad… I should have pushed her more to tell Maia and Tanner. I noticed this time, and I still didn’t do anything. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I was there to help and give her blood. Heh, I’ve never been bothered by needles anyways, so it’s a good fit. I guess I didn’t think people would get so hurt up here. Man, I really am an idiot, aren’t I? Randomly getting picked for a mission? “Housing for convicts”? And now blackmail? God, I don’t even believe in prisons, what happened? What’s going on? I just- No. I….

[She trails off..]

Maybe I'll make a nice dinner for everyone this week. It's been a minute since I've properly cooked, and I think everyone could use it. Hm, maybe meatballs and sauce. Yeah, that sounds good.

[Pause.]

I think-

Hm.

[Pause.]

End log.

[Recorder click.]

Lucien

[Frustrated sigh.]

Audio log of Dr. Franklin of the U.S.S Hades crew.

[Frustrated mumbling.]

Three months. Three fucking months that Tanner was experimenting on Rory. Three months where they were treating us like their friend while slowly killing her! I don't know what to do. Rory is my best friend and they treated her like some kind of lab rat! Like her life could be something so easily thrown away!

[Pause.]

You wanna know the worst part? I saw Tanner rushing out of the room once Rory was stabilized. I don't think they even processed that I was there… but, I saw the horror in their eyes and I knew that they regretted what they had done.

[Pause.]

I hate this. Tanner nearly took Rory away from us and I want so badly to hate them. To blame them for everything and shut them out, but I can't. Not when I know that they regret their actions. I hope they both recover. Rory from her sickness and Tanner from the trauma this probably caused them. I'm not a medical doctor, as I've proven before, but I don't think someone can recover from this kind of thing. Especially not Tanner. They're an ass, but they have a good heart, even if they're misguided sometimes. I don't know anymore. I hate it up here. Franklin signing off.

[Recorder click.]

Vela

[Muttering to herself.]

It's all bullshit, this whole thing is fucking bullshit.

[A frustrated yell.]

I can't believe they fucking did this. This is the audio log of Officer Vela Klein aboard the USS Hades and everything is just fine and dandy! You know, minus the fact that our head medical officer was experimenting on us. No big deal! Look, I get that Tanner was in a tough spot, but that doesn't make this okay. That doesn't give them the right to do anything to any of us. I agreed to a vaccine trial, not to whatever bullshit they've been doing. I know that I'm alright and that nothing bad happened to me, but it could have. That's the issue. It could have gone badly and if you actually look at it, something did go badly! Rory got super fucking sick and it's all Tanner's fault and that could have been any one of us. It's fucking bullshit. End log.

[Recorder click.]

Mal

[Frustrated groan.]

Guess I gotta make a log, huh? Y'all wanted to know whenever something… new or exciting happens. And this is definitely news to us. Probably not you though, right? Whatever, anyways! Log of Dr. Mal Paulitious aboard the U.S.S Hades on month 3 of our mission. I'm only making this log because Commander Bailey asked me to, I'd much rather be offering help to my crew so I'll try and keep this short and brief so the idiots at command can know what went down. A few hours ago, one of our scientists- Dr. Rory Black- collapsed in the medbay and needed an emergency blood transfusion. Luckily, one of our engineers was able to donate and Dr. Tanner patched Rory up pretty quickly. She's stable and gonna pull through, as far as I know.

[Muttered.]

No thanks to y'all.

[Normal volume.]

But that ain't the only thing that happened. After the Rory situation calmed down, Commander Bailey sat us all down and explained y'all's… ultimatum for Dr. Tanner. I shouldn't have to tell y'all about how you're basically blackmailing them to experiment on various crew members without their consent but this log needs to be thorough, doesn't it? So there. Tanner had a sick family member somewhere on Earth that y'all agreed to "help", so long as Tanner played Dr. Frankenstein. And that's fucked up! Rory is a person, Tanner is a person, and neither of them deserved this! Tanner loves science, they love baking, their favorite dessert is cherry pie for God's sake! And Rory... Rory is amazing. She loves dandelions and mac and cheese and sings If I Die Young constantly. But you wouldn't know that, would you? She's a human being, not a damn lab rat, and y'all are lucky she pulled through. I don't know what would've happened if she didn't, but it wouldn't have been good for y'all. Trust me on that one.

[Pause. Deep breaths.]

I'm not exactly happy with Tanner either- they should have told us what was going on! - but I get it. They were stuck between a rock and a hard place because of y'all. I'd honestly probably would've done the same if I was in their shoes.

[Frustrated growl.]

But to make matters worse, y'all didn't even help! Tanner's person is dead and y'all broke your end of their bargain. So does that mean our deal's broken too?

[Recorder click.]

Thea

Officer Thea Patel recording, log… It doesn't matter, does it? I'm sure you'll put them in order and give them all the correct numbers anyway. Your secrets out. The crew knows about Dr. Tanner's experiments. All of them. And as much as I’d love to group my reaction in with what I’m sure everyone else is telling you right now, tell you I’m surprised, that it’s okay and it’s not their fault… to tell you that I think Ashes Tanner is a good person… well, I can’t do that. I don’t lie. I suppose you know that better than anyone. I mean that’s why I’m here, right? Accurate information and all that bullshit. It is funny though. Tanner almost kills someone while experimenting on them, and for some goddamn reason, there's still people up here giving them sympathy. They killed two people by coming up here, you know. Mind you, they thought they were saving their precious little Lucy, but honestly, who is naive enough to think that would possibly work? The cherry on top of this update? These people are starting to get distrustful of Ultrapoltis and I just so happen to be the person who works in management. So, thanks for making my job harder, I guess. There's your update. I have to go make sure people still trust me.

[Recorder click.]

Maia

Log of Dr Maia Sinclair.

I—

[She stutters.]

Fuck, I’m sorry.

[A deep breath.]

...I can’t blame Tanner. From everything I’ve heard, that’s a choice that nobody should have to make. I mean if I had—

[Short pause.]

I don’t blame them. You all, on the other hand. God, this is just a joke to all of you, isn’t it? Like a fucking game of chess. How long is it going to be until we find out about your next plot, huh? I’ve been taking care of Rory all day. She needs me. But she— she never should have been there in the first place. I’m not mad at Tanner, but I can’t lose her. She just— god it's just— fuck. I should’ve seen it sooner. I should’ve known something was wrong, I could’ve done something, I— I should have— fuck. Fuck!

[Recorder click.]

Stella

Audio log of Dr. Stella Taylor. How long did you want to keep us in the dark for? Did you expect us to never find out? I don't want to blame Dr. Tanner for the things they did, they had no other choice really. But it's hard to not though. Tanner went behind all of our backs, and did experiments on Dr. Black, Vela and Cass, and didn't even think to tell us. I'm sure you already know that though. I still don't understand how you think it's fine to take Tanner in their most vulnerable state, a-and capitalize on it, then rip it all away at the same time. That's why I don't want to put the blame on them, they were desperate. I can sympathize with that, it's hard to know that you can't do anything to help someone you love, and all you can do is let nature take its course.

[Pause.]

Rory is stable, and is gonna pull through, at least that's what I hear. I'm not completely sure what happened, Dr. Black fainted, was rushed to the medbay, and needed an emergency blood transfusion? That's what the Commander said anyway.

[Pause.]

I should have stayed on earth.

[Laughs sadly.]

She was right, it was a mistake coming up here.

[Recorder click.]

Cassian

I don't... know how to feel about this. How are you supposed to feel when you've just been informed that "Surprise!" you've been experimented on? I expect the numbness is... well, I expect it's expected. At least I'm not in Dr. Black's place. She'll... I've been told she'll make a full recovery, or at least we hope. That's good. That's good... Tanner too… The Commander told us what happened and what was at stakeand I want to blame the doctor, to be angry I was used as a fucking test subject, but... as much I want to I can't. If I were them I would've done the exact same thing, but the fact they even had to make the choice is unthinkable. Is this how one would treat their loyal subjects? Send them off to be experimented on, threaten their loved ones, have them almost fucking kill each other? This is… This is deeply worrying... I'm going to go check on Rory and Tanner and... see if I can help at all.

[Pause.]

This almost feels like a fucking cliche sci-fi movie, doesn't it? And we're only barely in month three... I wonder what other fucked up things you could possibly have in store for our poor unfortunate crew. Cassian Reyes, signing off.

[Recorder click.]

Bryn

This is the audio log of Officer Bryn Lowry, aboard the USS Hades. Things came to a head today. Dr. Tanner’s true research was revealed to the crew and it’s already causing strains. It seems like Dr. Tanner is particularly struggling, as they stepped down as head medical officer. I...

[Pause.]

I knew what Tanner was doing, but I didn’t know why. It’s not exactly encouraging to know that they were blackmailed into it.

[A sigh.]

I think this job is going to be a lot harder than I expected. I… I guess it snuck up on me, but I just… didn’t expect to care about the people up here. I don’t know, I’m starting to wonder if reporting on the lives of these people is the right thing to do. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I think these people, my crew, deserve better.

[Pause.]

Fuck it. Two can play at this game.

[Typing.]

Computer System

Delete audio log?

Bryn

Hm. Never tried bein’ a triple agent before. Can’t be that hard, right?

Computer System

Log deleted.

[Recorder click.]

Nim

Audio log of Nim Ward, day "I really couldn't care less", aboard the

USS Hades en route to Pluto. Tanner is a good person. They are kind and they love so much and you used that love against them.. All for what? So you could play some sort of God? And Rory is sweet and kind, always there when you need her, but of course you wouldn't care about that. They're just things to you, puppets to play with. They say she'll make a full recovery, but I just wish there was more I could do more for them. Not to mention Maia... She shouldn't have to deal with all this stress She must have the weight of the world on her shoulders right now. God. Fuck!

[The door opens.]

Wait… Thea. What are you doing here? I thought… I thought you were meeting with Commander Bailey?

Echoing Thea

It's funny that you thought you had a right to know.

Nim

What are you talking about?

Echoing Thea

You know what I'm talking about. If only you'd searched a little harder. You would have seen the plans and you could have stopped this. You could have saved poor Dr. Black. But no, you had to go and be selfish, like the world owes you something. Maybe I ought to tell the Commander why you're here. Tell her that you chose to let these poor people get experimented on.

Nim

No. No no, I thought we were friends, Thea. It… it's not my fault. Right? It's not my fault, right? I just, I thought you of all people would tell me what was happening.

Echoing Thea

Do you ever get tired?

Nim

Tired of what?

Echoing Thea

Being so naive.

Nim

I am not naive!

Echoing Thea

Really? Because it's pretty obvious to me that this is your fault. You failed to look hard enough when you had the opportunity and you got caught. And now what? You want to lean on me? Despite what you may think, I have a job to do that doesn't involve me taking care of your feelings. Now that I think about it, maybe your family was right, after all. Maybe you are just a bad omen. I mean, they wouldn't have to go through this if you hadn't been put on this mission.

Nim

Shut up, you don't know that.

Echoing Thea

Oh, but I do.

[The door opens.]

Thea

Hey, Nim. Hope I'm not interrupting--

[Cuts herself off briefly.]

Who were you talking to?

Nim

W-what?

[Recorder click.]

[Outro by Gray Sienna]

[The sound of Aiden’s first log playing. The one she said she was going to delete. It sounds far off in the distance and quiet. It then clicks off. There is a brief moment of typing.]

Well. It seems that our crew is progressing nicely on their journey. Just as predicted, the doctor's research came to light with the transmission that we sent up. The sickness of Ms. Aurora Black was a surprise, though not an unwelcome one. I believe we are going to be seeing some wonderful results with this crew. Tensions are sure to rise after these events, just as they should.

Dem

Our investors will be glad to hear it.

Dem/Et

Let the trials continue.

[Credits.]

This is The Hades Project. It is inspired by Wolf 359. Intro and outro music was produced by Gray Sienna. Thank you to our lab skeleton, Teddy Bonesevelt, and thank you for listening.

Episode 9: Communication, or Lack Thereof

Trigger Warnings

Swearing

Suicidal ideation

Mental breakdown

Panic attacks

Crying

Chewing

[Event Horizon [jupiter] by Gray Sienna]

[Recorder click.]

Rory

Personal log of Rory Black. I don’t know what to do. I-I feel like I should… be doing more! She said that I would know when, but… how do I know when, when it always feels like-like-- ...Like I'm not enough… Maybe I’m not the right person. Maybe she is-- ...maybe she was wrong. Fuck! End fucking log.

[Recorder click. Music interlude.]

Lucien

...So… thoughts on raw pasta as a snack?

Cassian

What… what the actual fuck, Lucien?

Lucien

...Chips.

Cassian

No?

Amaya

No, no, they’ve got a point.

Lucien

Yes, thank you! The crunch is really good!

Mal

It’s good to munch on while you wait for more pasta to cook!

[Cassian makes a pained noise.]

Amaya

Exactly! ...Y’know, I could actually go for a snack right now.

[Several people running. The door opens.]

Cassian

If you eat raw pasta in my kitchen, I’m throwing you out the airlock!

[Music interlude. Recorder click.]

Tanner

I don't know what I think I'm doing. It's not like I have more to report.

[Frustrated groan.]

I just… I don't know anymore? The last time I was this unsure was… god… It was when I was kicked out. I'm... not lying when I say that it sucked being sixteen and alone on the streets of Chicago. I mean, I held it together, but… It was when I met Lucy that things started to make sense again. She helped me to finally put all the pieces of who I am together. But now one of the pieces is missing and I don't know what to do. I don't… I don't know who I am without her. I'm not sure that I can be someone. I'm so… I'm so sorry, Luc. I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you. I tried so hard and I still failed you. God, my mom was fucking right, after all these years. All I do is hurt people.

[Crying. Recorder click. Music interlude.]

Amaya

Wh- Lucien, why are you on the counter? You’re tall, you can just reach the top shelf?

Lucien

Well, Rory’s not here and neither of you were getting up here, so--

[A small clatter as something breaks.]

...So, this was the logical conclusion!

Mal

...I don’t understand this logic, but I’m here for it.

[Footsteps coming down the hall.]

Amaya

Fuck, Lucien, get down!

[Light thumps and the sound of something else breaking.]

Aiden

Good afternoon, y’all… Dr. Franklin, may I ask what you’re doing on the counter? And why two of my mugs are shattered on the floor?

[Long pause.]

Cassian

I had nothing to do with this!

Aiden

I’m aware, Cass. I’m talking to Dr. Franklin, right now, seeing as they’re the one standing on my counter.

Lucien

I-um. Th-the ship is… haunted? And I was… trying… to get the ghost… back for breaking your mugs?

Aiden

The ship… is… haunted? You were… trying to get the ghost…? Dr. Franklin? Listen up, the four of you. I do not have the time, nor the patience to deal with these things right now. Y’all can do whatever you want, just resolve it amongst yourselves and don’t break anything else, okay?

Mal, Amaya, Cass, and Lucien

[In unison.]

Yes, commander.

Aiden

Good, thank you. Now--

[Short pause. Footsteps.]

Dr. Tann--

[Footsteps leaving the room quickly followed by a heavy sigh.]

Lucien

Um, would you… like some raw pasta, commander?

Aiden

...Would I like some what now?

Lucien

...I’ll… take that as a “no.”

Aiden

[Sighs.]

Just-- I was never here.

[Music interlude. Recorder click.]

Rory

Personal log of Rory Black. Well, I saw Dr. Tanner today.

[Pause.]

Lucien convinced me to leave my room. Told me they had an experiment they wanted to show me. They… Dr. Tanner… came to the lab while Luc was… Y’should’ve seen the look on their face. Was like they saw a ghost… Was like they saw a ghost…. Maybe that’s all I ever was to them. A ghost. Wouldn’t that be fun? Wouldn’t that be… easier. I could blame them. Say it’s their fault. It’d be easier. It’d also be a lie… But that’s the problem, I don’t… get it. I don’t get why the rest of the crew is so… angry… I-I chose this. I volunteered! I-I don’t know if knowing the truth from the start would’ve changed that. I-I wanted… Well, I wanted a lot of things… I wanted to help people. I wanted to do good. I thought that was… I thought that was why I came up here… Maybe… maybe I came here… just to die among the stars. It’s not like I have anyone to go home to… and the stars have always… It’s stupid, but the stars have always felt like my real home. I don’t know. Maybe that was just a scared little girl trying to cope… Maybe it is just a scared little girl just trying to cope. Dying, uh, really puts things into perspective, I guess… I-I wasn’t… scared. I was… I think… I think I was ready. I think… I think I was disappointed when I woke up! Maybe, if I… hadn’t… they could’ve at least… used my body, I guess, to study the effects of the virus, but now Dr. Tanner won’t even leave their room and it’s my fault. They stepped down as head medical officer. Maia took over and she… she can’t handle all of that. Not without their help at the very least, but I… fucked it all up! Just like usual. Fuck!

I-I-I fucked- I fucked up. I fucked up. I fucked up. I fucked up.

[Recorder clicks. Music interlude.]

[Loud crunching sound.]

Madison

What… the fuck… was that?

Nim

What was… what?

Madison

That loud crunching noise?

Nim

...Chips?

Madison

Officer Nim. Did you… just call a box of… raw lasagna… chips???

[The noise of a door opening. Footsteps.]

Aiden

Now, Captain, what did I tell you about threatening our crewmates?

Madison

I wasn’t threatening her, I was… inquiring about her dietary habits… A good diet is… important as a… crew member.

Aiden

Mhm. I see. Well, I was looking for you anyways! Would you help me go over our course charts? I want to have a second pair of eyes on it, better safe than sorry!

Madison

Yes, sir.

Aiden

You can just call me Aiden, sugar. We’re gonna be living together for the next 3 years, you can just call me Aiden.

Madison

But, sir--.

[Music interlude. Recorder click.]

Tanner

[Several, deep, shaky breaths. Whispered.]

Fuck it. This is Doc…

[Breath.]

Ashes Tanner. I certainly don't deserve that title.

[Pause.]

I fucked up. I knew that already, but somehow it just keeps increasing. It's the way they look at me, you know? Like I killed someone. And the worst part is… that they're right. Every single person on this crew has reason to despise me and I don't blame them. What I've done is unforgivable. I just… I just can't help but to wish that it was. Deep inside me I want to be able to go back, I want to-- I-. My mind is playing tricks on me. I want everything to be okay, so badly that I just… keep hearing Rory, telling me it's okay, telling me that she forgives me, but I know that's not real. Earlier, I went to the lab to grab something and she was there with Lucien. I-- I've never been good at reading people, it… usually just doesn't quite compute, I guess, but if I had to name it, she looked scared. I don't blame her. Point is, there's no way that she could ever forgive me for what I've done to her… Not that I would deserve that forgiveness anyway. I don't deserve anything, not after what I've done.

[Outro by Gray Sienna]

[Promotions.]

Hey there, it's Jupiter. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of The Hades Project. We are so incredibly thankful to each and every person who has listened to our podcast this season and we are so excited for you all to get to listen to our season finale, which airs in two weeks time. Additionally, I have one other piece of super exciting information. Gray Sienna, who is the producer of our theme, which plays at the beginning and end of our episodes, is releasing an EP. It's called Witchfire and it releases on November 12th and it's sure to be, well, fire. Gray is an absolutely amazing producer and creator and I urge you all to go check out Witchfire the second it releases. It's sure to be absolutely amazing.

[Credits.]

This is The Hades Project. It is inspired by Wolf 359. Intro and outro music was produced by Gray Sienna. Thank you to our lab skeleton, Skeleton Hadescrew, and thank you for listening.

Episode 10: We All Fall Down

Trigger Warnings:

Swearing

Self deprecation/hatred

Meltdown/Breakdown

Mentions of past emotional/familial abuse

Suicide attempt

Resources:

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

https://www.pflag.org/hotlines

[Intro]

Hey everyone, it's Jupiter. I know you don't usually hear my voice at the beginning of episodes, but it felt necessary for this one. You are about to listen to the season finale of The Hades Project. This episode does contain graphic content that may be unsettling or uncomfortable for some listeners, so I do urge you to read the trigger warnings for this episode and heed them. In addition to our usual trigger warnings, we're also including some links to some helpful sources in the description and transcript. And if you ever need help, reach out. You are not alone. Please, enjoy the season finale of The Hades Project.

[Episode begins.]

Rory

To whoever finds and reads this letter, I’m sorry.

[Intro - Event Horizon [jupiter] by Gray Sienna]

Maia

Hey, Rory.

Rory

Oh, hi, Maia.

Maia

I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing.

Rory

Yeah, I'm good. Uh, symptoms have been clearing up just fine. I'm feeling much better now, thank you.

Maia

Thank you for the update, but I didn't mean your symptoms, Rory.

Rory

Oh.

Maia

Yeah… Are you okay? Have you processed what happened?

[Pause.]

Maia

Rory?

Rory

Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It's weird, I guess, knowing that I could have been gone right now, but fine? Really, I'm doing alright. I… am a little worried about Dr. Tanner. I've tried to talk to them and haven't gotten a response.

Maia

Yeah… I'm a little worried about them too, Rory. Listen, I'm going to talk with Commander Bailey about getting Tanner back on as a medical officer. I have a meeting with her in five minutes. How about I meet you back in the kitchen after and we can eat some of those cookies that Mal made?

Rory

I don't--

Maia

That wasn't a suggestion. Kitchen, thirty minutes. Cookies and hot cocoa, okay?

Rory

I suppose.

Maia

Good! See you then, darling.

[Music interlude.]

Tanner

[Recording click.]

Audio log of Ashes Tanner. There’s not much to report from me right now. Since stepping down as head medical officer, my duties are practically nonexistent. My research for Ultrapoltis has come to a halt, which is perfectly fine with me. As for my personal research, well, it feels pointless now… She’s already gone. Hell knows I wasn’t going to find it in time anyway. I don’t know, I just, I don’t feel like there’s any reason for me to be up here anymore. I just wish that I could go home. Not that I have a home to go back to. Lucy was always my home. But that’s the thing… If you look at it, I deserve to be up here. Everyone else, they deserve to see their families, to have a safe and happy place and people to go back to. They deserve much better than me. They deserve a doctor who doesn’t hurt them. A science officer who’s able to do some research that matters. Someone who’s able to do even one shred of good on this stupid ship. I’m useless to them. I’m worthless.

[Music interlude.]

[A knock.]

Aiden

Come in, it's open.

Maia

Hey Commander, uh, how's it going?

Aiden

Hello, good, Dr. Sinclair. Have a seat.

Maia

Okay, so, I know what they did wasn't exactly the greatest-- hell, if it were me in that situation I probably would have done the exact same thing-- but Commander, I need Dr. Tanner back on as a medical officer.

Aiden

Doctor...

Maia

Listen, hear me out, please. The fact of the matter is that Dr. Tanner is a damn good doctor. Their experience in emergency situations is unlike anything I've seen or am even capable of. I don't know a ton about their past, but Tanner did mention that before they got into research they were a doctor in the ER and it shows. Without their quick thinking, Rory would be dead right now and there's no way in hell I could have handled that situation on my own. And trust me when I say I could tell from the way they reacted after she was stable that they never wanted to hurt her, or anyone for that matter. Commander, I need them back on the medical team, they are an invaluable asset to this crew.

Aiden

Are you done, doctor?

Maia

Yes, yes I think I am.

Aiden

Lovely, now as I was trying to say, Dr. Tanner chose to step down as a medical officer. It's out of my hands, Maia.

Maia

I'm just worried about them. Rory too. Tanner won't talk to anyone, and given the anger of some of the crew, I don't blame them, but we need them for this mission. And Rory, well, she puts on a brave face, but I think this is affecting her a lot more than she lets on. They're both hurting and too damn stubborn to let anyone else in.

[Pause.]

What do we do, Aiden?

Aiden

I'm… not sure. It's hard to help people that don't want help. Giving someone else purpose, when they don't see a shred of light, is one of the hardest things to face.

Maia

What do you mean?

Aiden

Well I mean, those two are facing darkness right now, even if they don't want to admit it. We can't fight that darkness for them, but what we can do is let them know that there's a way out.

Maia

So?

Aiden

So, we need a head medical officer aboard this ship. If you can convince them, Dr. Tanner is welcome to fill that position.

Maia

That's if I can even get them to talk to me.

Aiden

I believe in you, Maia. You've got a good heart that shines pretty damn bright. Show that light to them and I think we may be able to get our doctor back.

[Music interlude.]

Maia

Hey, Rory.

Rory

Hey, Maia. How'd the meeting go?

Maia

It went well. Dr. Tanner is welcome to the position… if they'll take it. Is it alright if we take these cookies to go? I want to talk to them.

Rory

You can go ahead, it's fine.

Maia

Uh-uh, you're coming with me and you two are going to sit and talk if I have to drag it out of both of you.

Rory

I--

Maia

No buts. We're going.

[Music interlude.]

Tanner

Right, so, a serial dilution, across 5 tubes increasing tenfold will get me to… to… ten to the negative sixth. Okay, yeah, good to go.

[Pipetting noises. Then an item crashes down.]

Shit. Get it together, Ashes. Let's not drop our very expensive micropipette, shall we? Right. Where were we? Serial dilution.

[More pipetting.]

Great. Bubbles. That's what you get for having shaky hands, Ash. It's fine. This is fine. I can do this. All I have to do is plate these and then I'm done. This is what you're good at. Be good at it. Be… good.

[Walking, followed by crashing noise.]

Fuck! Fuck. No no no no. You fucking idiot. Stupid, fucking idiot.

[Tanner falls to the ground. They are aggressively stimming, the meat of their hands hitting against their head.]

Stop. S-stop it. Stop being a little brat and get your shit together. H-h-how do you expect to help people when all you do is have a fit when one little thing goes wrong? S-s-stop being so sensitive. You'll never help anyone. All you do is hurt people because you only care about yourself, like a selfish fucking asshole. Shit. She was right. That's all I am, a source of pain and suffering for others. I ruined our family. And then I hurt my crewmates and I-I killed Lucy and I killed Rory and it's all my fault. No one should have ever trusted me, all I do is fail and hurt people. I'm a fucking monster.

[Sobbing.]

I can't- I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't--.

[A series of noises. First, Tanner standing up and walking to their desk, then the sound of writing. Pen on paper. This is followed by a folding noise. We hear Tanner shaky and crying throughout. Then, footsteps, a cabinet opening, and the sound of Tanner taking something from the cabinet. They sit on the ground with a soft thud. There's a screwing of a cap, and the sound of pills being poured out.]

Tanner

I'm sorry, Lucy.

[Tanner's sobs fade into silence. It is silent for a long moment before the door opens.]

Maia

Dr. Tanner, are you in here? I wanted to talk to you abou--

[Footsteps as she walks into the lab.]

Shit. Tanner. Tanner, can you hear me? Rory, I need you over here to help me. Now.

[Music interlude.]

Rory

To whoever finds and reads this letter, I’m sorry. Despite my efforts, I’ve failed every single one of you. You deserve better than I could ever provide you with. I had your trust, as your doctor and as your crewmate and I have thoroughly lost that trust. I had my reasons for why I did what I did, but that doesn’t excuse what’s happened. I've hurt you all and I can’t bear to live with that. I’ve dedicated my life to helping others and I failed to do that aboard this ship. I hope that you all find a brighter future and I hope your journey is safer without me. And Rory... I’m sorry. Signed, A. Tanner.

[Pause.]

You stupid idiot.

[The sound of a door opening.]

Maia

Hey, sweetheart.

Rory

Are they okay?

[Pause.]

Are they okay?

Maia

They're--

[She is cut off by a chime from the ship's computer system.]

Computer System

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, crew of the U.S.S. Hades.

[Outro]

This is The Hades Project. It is inspired by Wolf 359. Intro and outro music was produced by Gray Sienna. Thank you for listening to our first season. The Hades Project will return.